Monday, April 14, 2014

Terrible and Terrifying!!

Terrible and Terrifying! Those are the words I have heard to describe the age of Two and the age of Three!! And I am learning that for us it is THREE that has been the most challenging age!! Don't get me wrong there are TONS of TERRIFIC THREE moments!!! TONS, but there are quite a bit of TERRIFYING THREE moments as well.

I know it has to do with Noah wanting control and trying to be more independent. Also, you add in tons of emotions and a kid that doesn't know how to handle them and there is a catastrophe. I blame it on Todd and I b/c we are ultimately Noah's teachers in emotions and we need to work better on showing the proper way to handle them.

It has been a tough almost two years b/c of my pregnancy hormones and now my no sleep/depression after having Mason. If Noah is acting out and Mason is napping in my arms (yeah that is another post) I am less likely to be patient with Noah and show proper anger or frustration control.

We've been working on many things with Noah. We've taught him that it is okay to be angry or sad. all emotions are okay. What isn't okay is how we express or show them. If he decides that hitting us or kicking the wall is how he displays his anger we show him better ways to deal/cope.

It is a work in progress. First I told him to tell us that he is mad/sad/etc. He can say "Momma I am mad" and I taught him to breath in and out to calm down or if he wants to he can scream into a pillow or punch a pillow. I am rethinking the punching the pillow b/c I am not sure if that is sending mixed messages. I also make sure to explain to him about empathy, in his age version.

For instance, I ask him if he would like it if someone hit him and how he would feel if someone hit him. Then we chat about what he could have done differently.

As for punishments for these things, lately we warn him first and tell him if he does it again he gets time our or loses something that day (like his favorite snack at bedtime). He knows that somethings are instant timeouts like hitting!!

It can be so frustrating b/c as you know lots of people have advice on this subject, but I firmly believe that each parent has to parent her child differently mainly because each child is different.

Also, Noah has been avoiding sleep like it is the plague so that doesn't help. As we all know a tired tot is like the hulk on steroids!!! He can't think properly and acts out more. Another thing we are going to try after using these techniques is work on less sugar in his diet. I honestly think sugar effects Noah and he has so much energy normally that extra sugar is not a good thing.

Now I cannot end on negative things, I have to share some of the TERRIFIC THREE moments as well. I love how he is so considerate and ALWAYS goes to the fridge at my house and my parent's house and gets EVERYONE something to drink. He knows what each of us likes to drink and I think it is so sweet.

He also is a great helper and loves to help me with Mason by getting me diapers or wipes. And he loves to help me clean, it makes him feel like a big boy and I enjoy the extra help.

His silliness just makes for a fun time. He thinks certain words are hilarious and he helps me to see the world in a  whole new light of FUN!! Oh and his prayers, whether at dinner or bedtime, are so genuine and he just talks to Jesus.

At night in his bed he gets extra lovey! He talks about how much he loves me, he holds his arms out wide and says a WHOOOOLE bunch! I cherish those moments. Other moments I cherish is seeing him with his brother. Especially when he tries to comfort him when he is crying or asks him in the car after school if Mason has missed him.

The boy has a big heart and I am excited to see how God uses his determined spirit for good!


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