Friday, August 31, 2012

One step at a time!

I have made a plan to talk about ALL of the things that I go through with this IVF. Last time I was pretty candid, but I don't think I painted the entire picture! I'm sure that most people understand how crazy the whole process is and I am sure that other people have no idea. So I will clear it all up for you.

This week I had a phone call from our IVF financial consult. She called and told me the rundown of all of the expenses. Let me just say that without insurance coverage we would not be able to do this at all. Just the IVF (not counting anesthesia, room fee for egg retrieval, freezing remaining embryos, and medications) it would cost $11,189. Then you add the medications that could range anywhere from $2500-5500! Yeah it is ALOT!! Thankfully, our insurance covers 90% of the IVF. And the other things like anesthesia, room fee, and the freezing of the embryos will be sent to our insurance and will be covered somewhat. I am suppose to get a call today about my coverage for my medications!!

Then on Thursday I had my hysteroscopy. I think I may have spelled it wrong in a previous post. Basically think of a colonoscopy but in your uterus. It was actually cool b/c I was able to see inside my uterus and the openings into my fallopian tubes. Like picture like not x ray or ultrasound. The procedure was a breeze! I was really nervous about the pain b/c they only do local anesthesia. It didn't hurt at all, well until the local anesthesia wore off. Then I felt like I had been kicked in the uterus by a horse. I couldn't move without pain. I had some swelling and I am so blessed to have such an awesome hubby because he took care of Noah while I rested. Let's just say that if you are planning on a hysteroscopy ask for pain meds, ibuprofen doesn't cut it!!!

We left to get lunch afterwards. During lunch we had to fill out all of the paperwork for IVF. Figuring out lots of things like what would happen to our frozen embryos if Todd and I both passed away and etc. It was alot of documents and I felt like we were buying a house b/c of all of the signatures and initialing! Of course, we had to wait to sign some parts for a notary to witness it. After lunch at PF Changs (YUM) we headed back to have our injection teach. I would say it was a refresher course for me. The nurse said we were her best students :) The only medication I am worried about is the progesterone shots. If we are blessed to get to that point I am sure I will elaborate on that one way MORE!!!

On Friday I had to go back to do the trial transfer! And let me say that going back means driving to Perimeter. If you know me you know I live pretty far from Perimeter. It is an hour and a half drive on a good traffic day. My insurance would not cover two procedures in one day so I got to drive up there twice, HA! I guess I can't complain since the insurance does cover so much, don't wanna tick them off :) The trial transfer was a breeze and took a few minutes then I was back on the long trip home. I'm still sore from the hysteroscopy and my lower back is hurting. The doctor said that was normal! Other symptoms I have been having are headaches everyday and insomnia, but I am sure those are stress related.

I have been on BCPs since 8/28 and will take them until 9/9. I start injections on 9/4, next Tuesday! I am a bit nervous, but not about the shots. More so about getting the dose right while a toddler is at my heels!

So that is the beginning! There is a ton more, but I will save that for another post. I don't like to get ahead of myself. I just want to make it through this part and then see if I can go to the next part. We have a baseline ultrasound on 9/14 so that will let us know if we can go forward with adding more medicine (injections).

On an emotional note as Todd and I were driving up on Thursday I was pretty much freaking out. Almost having a panic attack. I had put all of the pressure on my body working right and let's be honest my body doesn't like to do that :) Todd really put it into perspective for me and gave me peace. He reminded me that when we started this journey we said that if it doesn't result in a second blessing that we will be okay because we have Noah. And we are so very thankful for him. I love that man of mine!!!

I cannot say that I am not overwhelmed, but I just have to do exactly what my old blog title was and take it: One Step At A Time!!! Thanks to Lauren for reminding me that :)

Hoping y'all have a blessed Labor Day weekend!!!


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Monday, August 27, 2012

Pictures!!!!

I'm not sure if it is just me, but I am horrible at printing pictures out! I have TONS of pictures and even more now with my iphone/instagram addiction! However, getting them printed out, properly framed or put in an album...well not soo much. The mere thought of it overwhelms me.

 I am so behind on Noah's pictures. I have all of his pictures in an album up to 3 months. Yes I said three months old!!! I am only a little behind, HA!! And let me tell you those three months (plus the entire birth experience) takes up three small albums! I have to say that I took a picture of everything and then couldn't decide which ones to print so I ordered them all. Todd would ask me why I had three of the same pictures and my response would be that Noah's angle was a little different or you could see his foot better in one picture and his arm in another. Yes I was nuts!!

So I guess the thought of going through my dozens of pictures and just picking out the "right" ones stresses me out. Then there is the little matter of getting all of my instagram pictures added and dated to the mix. My heart is already racing about that. Do y'all have any advice on what I should do to get caught up without getting overwhelmed. Is there someone that does this for a living! I would actually consider paying someone, HA!!!

It is amazing what offering a sucker can get your kid to do :) 


TWINS!!


After he ate his sucker given to him for being so great taking the first picture he ran by his name again and said another sucker?!?!?! Can't say I blame him :)


My parents said this reminds them of my older siblings (John and Terri) wanting to wake me up so they could go to the pool! The girls wanted to wake Noah up to play sooo badly :)

 Happy Monday
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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Noah's fears

Noah has developed some fears lately and it really hurts my heart when he is afraid. First it started out with bears at night! I am sure this was developed over time from him playing with his Papa and cousins. They would ride around on the golf cart and search for bears. Nothing really scary, just fun. However, then Noah would say at night that a bear would get him and he was visibly afraid. My heart ached b/c I didn't know how to help him feel at ease.

Then a great friend suggested we pray about it. So each night as we pray with Noah we pray that "no bear get us" :) And then he seems calm. He still has to sleep with us, but in the grand scheme of things that is really no biggie to me.

Now he has become afraid of getting his hair rinsed in the bathtub. Which is odd b/c he has never really feared that. Ever since he was itty bitty we made sure to expose him to water on his face and he was always fine. Last night it was so bad that he didn't even want to get in the bathtub at all!! So as any amazing daddy would do, Todd got in with him :) I sure do love my hubby!!! We did not wash his hair, but I am hoping to slowly ease him back into it. I have even showed him how if he leans his head back it won't run into his face. He freaks out now. I am talking grabs my shirt and won't let go while screaming!!! Not sure how to handle this, any suggestions???

 I am hoping it is all just a phase. It seems like he is just more and more aware of his surroundings and such. Like when we pull up at church he tells me he wants to go back to momma's house b/c he is currently not a fan of the nursery! I know things will get better, I just hope I know how to handle it all the right way. I don't want to make him more fearful.

Noah is such a loving child! He is full of hugs and kisses and I am so thankful. We are a very huggy/kissy family so I am glad he is too :) There is nothing like laying next to your son at night and him hug and kiss you and say I love momma!!! Such a joy!!! Such a blessing!!
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Friday, August 24, 2012

Journey to our second blessing!!

I started this blog as an IF (infertility) blog. I have to say it helped me keep my sanity throughout my journey and an added bonus was that I met this amazing group of fellow sisters that prayed for me and loved on me throughout the entire process. I have gone back and forth about blogging about this journey again, but I have to stay true to myself. And let's be honest, I need this more than anything!!

We are officially starting IVF! As I type that I can almost hear the Rocky theme song playing in the background as I try to pump myself up for this crazy rollercoaster that is coming!! Right now I have so many emotions that I couldn't list them all. I know what lies ahead and to say I am terrified is an understatement.

To update y'all up to this point. We went to a new RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and she is amazing! She is super sweet and super thorough!! And thankfully, Todd's insurance covers a ton of the process. I am not sure that we would be doing it again if it did not. It is so expensive. We did a few of the basic tests that you have to do in the beginning and were able to get a baseline of data for the RE. She confirmed that I am PCOS-like. Which basically means my body reacts the same way as someone with PCOS, but I don't meet ALL the criteria of PCOS. PCOS is polycystic ovarian syndrome. It basically means that when it is time for me to ovulate my follicles do not produce mature eggs, leaving a "ring of pearls" or cysts on my ovaries. After the testing we decided to try two cycles of Letrozole that resulted with BFN (big fat negatives). I will put up a detailed list up just for myself. I really want to have one for the second child like I do for Noah.

I pray that this will result in a second child, but I am aware that we may do this and it not work. You just never know with IVF. There is no guarantee! It is a literal step by step process. You have to get through one step before proceeding to the next, so I can't get ahead of myself. I will go ahead and warn you for some upcoming emotional posts. I will be sad/angry and worried. This will surely test me in many ways. I pray I can make it through with minimal damage. And I know I probably sound a bit dramatic, but y'all the first IVF did me for a wammy. This time around when we were just getting ready for the process (like several months ago) I started having tons of anxiety from it all. The first experience ended with such an amazing child. However, it was traumatizing!! I not only went through this major rollercoaster of emotions, I also had a doctor with NO bedside manner.

I go next Thursday for a hysterectomy. This is required at the new fertility clinic. Then I am thinking they will start BCPs (birth control pills) and we will go from there. I am asking for prayers of strength during this journey and hoping for a positive outcome of another blessing!! 
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Friday, August 17, 2012

Summer break is over!

Okay so I took a month or so off from blogging ;) I'm back and ready to update y'all to pieces, HA!! I will spare you all the details and just do an pictorial update. Is that even a word?? I left off in mid June, so here goes!!!

Fourth of July


Beach Vacation 2012


Our tradition on the way home is to take a picture with The King :)
Noah was not impressed ;)



We have had alot of fun playing outside!
 Noah had a blast getting Daddy wet after he came home from work!!



And of course we had tons of wagon rides!


Noah is getting so big and such a great little helper!!



So that is what we have been up to so far! More news to come!!!

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