Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I am {blank} because...

I am such a sucker for these types of things! I saw this on a few other blogs and had to join in ;)

I am weird because...
  • I cannot drink any kinda drink out of a cup that has ice in it without a straw!! Like NO WAY!! I will wait for a straw or not drink it at all! 
  • I must wear socks to bed, no matter how hot it is!! And not those footy socks, they gotta be the tall ones!!! HA
  • I have super human smelling abilities! Seriously! I can smell the trash can if the pantry door is opened and I am in the living room!
I am a bad friend because...
  • If I am with another friend or family member I won't respond immediately to texts or phone calls. I feel like it is rude to the person I am currently with.
  • I am really bad at remember dates like bdays, but now I have a new calendar so maybe that will get better!
  • I tend to prioritize myself last, so friend time gets put on the bottom of my list :(

I am a good friend because...
  • I have a counseling degree so I can listen for days, HA!!! 
  • If you need me I am there!!!!! Anytime, anywhere!!! Although with Noah that has become harder to do lately!
  • With friendships I give my whole heart! So when I say I love you or love ya, or any of those varieties...I mean it!!! I genuinely do love and can be very gullible that way. It has gotten my heart hurt a bit, but so worth it!!

I am sad because...
  • I let food rule over me!!
  • I worry we won't be able to have another child and feel guilty for even wanting more....b/c we were blessed to atleast have one!
  • I wish I had more friends in the same season of life as me! Or more friends period!!!!
  • Noah is growing up so fast and I fear this time is slipping away too fast!!
  • I can't seem to lose weight....or should I rephrase that and say I haven't been trying hard enough to lose weight and it bothers me!!!!!

I am happy because...
  • I am a momma! YES, and I LOVE and ADORE each second of it!!
  • My husband is a hands on daddy!
  • My husband loves me no matter what size I am!!
  • I have the best family...the kind that always says I love you when we hang up on the phone....even when we talk a few times a day!
  • I have a child!!! Can I not emphasize that enough!!! And he is the most precious boy!!!!
  • I decorated my house for Christmas this year, and might I say I am quite proud of how it turned out :)

I am excited for...
  • Christmas morning and seeing Noah's face as he sees all his new toys :)
  • God's plan and being okay with not always knowing what His plan is.
  • Date night this week ;)
  • new episodes of Vampire diaries :) and Secret circle! 
  • Swim lessons with Noah in January!
  • All the new traditions and memories we will be making with Noah!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

This is me, This is who I am!

I know, I know, 3 posts in one day! Too much to handle! And I have one scheduled for tomorrow! Oh well, it is what it is! I actually have the time to post (or rather I am choosing writing over sleep) and I have TONS on my mind and heart right now! 

I am a bit sad y'all! I am sad that I can't just "plan" another pregnancy! That it doesn't come that easy for me. That I can't just go well, when Noah is two we will start trying for number 2 and then in a few months I will be pregnant. I am sad because I don't want Noah to miss out b/c of my stupid body! Because my body doesn't work right! Ya know? 

I know that having Noah's first haircut today did a number on me. There is always so much reminding me how time is constantly rushing past. And trust me I notice and try to take the time to stop and enjoy every second. All I could think of on the way home was that this could be the only first haircut we (Todd and I) get. And to all of my sisters out there that are still yearning for a first child, please don't hate me for this post. Trust me I cherish the fact that I have a child at all!!! And I will never take that for granted! 

Sometimes I just wish things were a bit easier when it comes to having children. I wish it was more "normal"! Whatever normal is, well for would be the ability to actually try to get pg and it happen! With no medicine, needles, surgeries, or countless emotional rollercoasters!!!! 

And I am sad b/c I don't have many (any) friends that are in the same season of life as me! Ya know, stay at home mom! I really need that!!! Noah does too!! 

Please forgive me for always wanting more! Thank you for Noah! Thank you for Your grace! You are always my rock! And I know You have a perfect plan for my life. One that I don't understand, but I trust You. Please help me to have peace over that plan!  I love you Lord and I know I haven't been very present with You lately! I am so sorry!!! I have gotten caught up in this world and have forgotten about my real home one day in heaven with You! It is in this moment that I know I can find peace, just here with You!!! You are ALL I need! You are ALL I want!!! You are EVERYTHING oh Lord!!!! Amen

Noah's First Haircut!

 The before picture! It was time!!

 We brought something to occupy him ;) and it worked!!! 

 Checking himself out in the mirror :)

 The very FIRST cuts!!!!

It was even sweeter because my cousin cut Noah's hair! She played with him and this is him combining her hair :)
 And getting kisses ;)

 He was loving that sucker!!!

Now for the AFTER:
  My handsome little boy!
Not a baby anymore, bittersweet!!!

Please Help!!!! *with new pics*

 I am a bit superstitious!! And this year I found the most PERFECT stockings! Ones I had dreamed of in my head! And the problem was they only had 3 at Garden Ridge! So now if I can't get two more I feel like we will not be able to have more kids! Like I said superstitious! Like it is some omen that we will always be a family of three! And don't get me wrong I feel super blessed to even get to be three :D

So I am asking y'all! My blog sisters for some help! Here in GA I have checked the two Garden Ridges closest to us and nothing!!! So if y'all are out and at Garden Ridge would you look for this stocking:
note the jester curly end :)
And I will pay you for it and for shipping and even for gas if needed! Just to clarify why I need two more: We have four in our family now (counting Maggie) and if we have another kiddo there will be five...hence the two more stockings! I wanted to explain b/c I asked for help on fb and ppl were quite confused when they saw I had 3 stockings and wanted 2 more :) I And really I would be happy with just one more stocking! I can find Maggie a doggie one :))))) Thanks!!!!!!! 

*And I know the picture quality is poor, so I will make some more pics today with my camera and upload them later! We are off to turn my baby boy into a little boy :( First haircut!! Post on that later...bittersweet!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Wt loss journey!

  These are my REALITY CHECK pictures! Both from Thanksgiving this year (2011) I was soo upset when I saw myself! The first one is of me and my gorgeous neecy poo! Can you say triple chins! And the second on is of me taking Noah to play with his cousin Dylan. Dylan's momma is my cuz (well duh) and she looks AMAZING after having Dylan! Me, well I think I have two Kim Kardashian behinds on my back side! 

So I did do the eliptical two more times, so YAY!! And I am doing so so on my food. I have really been stressed with all the holiday ta da's! Ya know Christmas cards, decorating, buying gifts, etc.!!! Then I still gotta do my everyday stuff like laundry and take care of an 18 mos old :) So this wkend I decorated the house (still gotta buy some more items to finish decorating) and worked on laundry and separating Noah's clothes! We are blessed b/c we have had lots of clothes handed down to us by Todd's sissy and a great friend of mine. So I had to seperate all the different sizes and organize Noah's closet and drawers. I feel like I am always doing this, is it just me? Neways I digress, so if I can get all that done then I am hitting the eliptical again this week!

First weigh in (11-16-11): 161
Current weight: 160
Goal weight: 130

Goals this week: 
  • Do the eliptical 3x this week for 20 minutes each!!!
  • Eat better!!!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Caleb!!!!

 Happy Birthday Caleb!!!!

  We had a blast at Caleb's birthday party :) Everyone as you can see were ALL smiles!! Noah adores his cousins!!!

 Lots of fun sliding with Momma and Daddy!

 Noah trying to hang with the big kids :) soo cute!!

 Pizza time, Noah eating like a big boy! Where did my baby go?

 Blowing out the candles, Make a wish Caleb :D

 My handsome, now 4 year old, nephew!!!

 Love Noah's smile in this picture! He was loving watching Caleb open presents! 

 My gorgeous sissy in law!!!!

  Happy boys!!!
If ya wanna see more pics go HERE

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Happy 18 Months Noah!

  Happy 18 months Noah Wesley!!!

It has been quite a while since I have done a monthly post, so I think it is about time to update a bit! Today you are 1 year and 1/2 years old!!!! You are only 6 short months away from being 2! Wow, time is flying by! It really does seem like yesterday that you were born. Lately you have been just exploding with new language skills, fine motor skills, gross motor skills, and exploring skills (hehe). Here are a few things about you sweet Noah:
  • You cut your 12 mos. molars and eye teeth all at the same time this month, no fun!!! It was rough, but you handled it like a champ! Now you have a total of 11 teeth! 
  • You can say ANY word!! You like to mimic and can chat up a storm. I am amazed that you say golf cart so clearly and at how easily you pick up new words!
  • You are SO smart! You can buckle anything, big or small. Maggie's leash is super small and you can easily buckle it! Go fine motor skills :)))
  • You are going to be a soccer player for sure! You are always kicking the ball around and look like a pro! Go gross motor skills :)))
  • You are such a typical boy! You LOVE all things boyish! Bugs (especially grand-daddy long legs), dirt, exploring, climbing on EVERYTHING, and running everywhere you go!
  • You are singing too! In the car you sing along to Elmo (your new favorite). And at home you sing Elmo songs, the itsy bitsy spider song, and you love the song that Grammy and I sing to you!! 
  • Which leads me to this one, you dance alot!!! You really love music! Probably because it is ALWAYS playing (thanks to daddy). You dance to alot of Elmo shows, like the hop song. And at night you get super silly and dance and spin in circles.
  • You eat so much better than you did as a baby! Thank the Lord! But you are picky about textures! Like you won't eat mashed potatoes! You are loving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with pringles chips, spaghetti o's, sweet peas, bananas, peaches, oranges, grapes, chicken noodle soup, green beans, and of course ANYTHING with ketchup on it!
  • You have been a champ at spending the night at Nanny and Papa's house so Daddy and I can go on date nights! You adore you older cousins and really try to do everything they do. They are your best buds!!
  • Sleep has been so so. You cut alot of teeth at once this month and got sick so you started to get up at night again :( But we are hoping this will stop sooooon! However, you have slept in the bed with us a few times and that was sweet!!
  • You follow your Daddy around and just adore him. It is so obvious that you already look up to him oh so much! It is very sweet!!!
  • You give the best kisses ;))) and love to pat me on the back when I pat you on the back! 
  • You can name your hair, head, nose, ears, mouth, teeth, tongue, eyes, belly button, back, front, hands, feet, toes, and knees! 
  • We are working on colors and you can say two after I say one :))) 
  • You are my super dooper helper! You listen so well and help me when I ask you to clean up! You have even cleaned up without me asking! You like things to be in their place, so unlike your parents! Maybe you can train us up right, HA!
As always you are such a joy! Such a loving sweet little boy! Well not so little as you are weighing 26 lbs (as of the last doctor's appt.) and we will find out your height at the next appt. (Monday to get ur 18 mos. shots). You wear size 5 diapers and 18 mos pants and 18-24 mos shirts. Your shoe size is currently a wide 5 :D 

Noah, your Momma and Daddy love you soo much!!! Thank you for blessing us with your sweetness each day! Life is so much sweeter with you in it!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Day One!! A revelation!

Y'all I am sooo psyched!! I realized how I lost the wt before! Well obviously it means working out and eating less, duh! But I mean I figured out how to motivate my mind!!! 

The other day I was putting in my bkfast into the APP myfitnesspal and realized that only 3/4 of a cup of cocoa pebbles is 120 calories! I was like DANG!!! Then of course, I had like 3 servings, UGH!!!

Today I decided to hit the eliptical! I ran for 17 1/2 minutes! I am talking level two, hitting it hard!!! And I only burned 117 calories.

After seeing this and putting 2 & 2 HIT me like a bag of bricks, or is the saying a ton of bricks (?) any who...I just had to share with y'all! It only took me almost 18 mos (since Noah was born, tomorrow will be 18 mos, still holding on to today as 17 mos) to figure it out! 

More Proof
See I had it on 30 minutes and it was counting down, which totally gets me b/c I am horrible at math! But I did 17 1/2 minutes! And y'all my face was RED!! 

My plan now is to do the eliptical as much as possible for a week and then hit up the Group Power class at the gym. I need to work up to that class. It is tough. It is the one with the wts and you do TONS of reps, but I did it before when I lost 30 lbs...hoping it works again!!!!

Current Weight: 161 :( 
Goal Weight: 130

Goals this week: 
1. do the eliptical for a week, working my way up to 30 minutes!! 
2. Remember how much work it is to work off the junk I put in my mouth!!!! So eat less or better!!!!!!!! 

Before Picture
This picture is from our vacation in June, but I am the same size!!! Praying I get to post an after picture one day like Katie :)

Family Christmas Cards

 Thank y'all sooo much for the encouragement and support from my last post! The emails and comments were super sweet!! I am still working through all these stinkin withdrawals, and have decided to take a low dose of Prozac. I just couldn't do it! I really wanted to be able to be the best me for Noah! He needs me so much right now!

So to help deal with all the withdrawals I have made sure to keep myself very busy! Per a new great friend's advice :) And I have done just that!! As long as I am moving I don't notice all the nausea, pain, headaches, or general icky feeling. Once I stop..that is a different story. I am so ready to feel "normal" again!!!!!! And don't get me wrong it has been really hard just moving! I thankfully have some frozen meals in the freezer and a great family that helps me out sooo much!!! I literally got up Saturday morning and went to Todd's parents house for the day, then got up Sunday morning and hit up my parent's house for the day!!!!

Then on....
Monday evening Todd and I went out to get some outfits for our family photo shoot the next day. We had a late start but shopped hard from 6-9 and came home with just ONE shirt for Todd! I was so discouraged and learned that "skinny" jeans and high boots do NOT look good on me!!! And that I need to really start doing something if I wanna lose weight! WAKE UP CALL! I manage to put a few things together that we already had at home! Not as stylish as I had wished, but still cute nonetheless!!

We did our family Christmas pictures on Tuesday.....and I think we got several GR8 shots :)  Last night I got on Shutterfly (even though I am still upset with them for not sending me the promo like last year...but I can't be mad b/c I still used a few promo codes and saved $66, plus their cardstock ROCKS!) and worked super hard on our Christmas card! I had several different cards saved and then I got Todd to help me narrow them down!! 

Last year we just did a picture of Noah and so this year I was really psyched that we actually got a family picture :)) YAY!!! Here are some of the outtakes!! And when you have an almost 18 mos old there will be a lot of outtakes ;)

Here is our gorgeous photographer (aka sissy in law), she was awesome and even brought lots of goodies to get Noah's attention...and they even made Todd and I laugh a lot too :) Thank you sweet sissy!!!

And before we left Noah had to show off his mad skills of walking on Daddy's legs!! I have the cutest boys :)))) 

 Can't wait to share the final product...SOON!!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Serious Time!

I have been slowly coming off of Paxil since the middle of September! As I have mentioned before I have been on and off of an antidepressant since college. Paxil works the BEST for me, however, it is NOT good for someone while pregnant. And we are NOT pregnant. Todd and I just decided that if a miracle does happen and we get pg on our own then I really do not need to be on Paxil.

And dude I don't know if y'all have ever come off of Paxil before, but it is HORRIBLE!!! I came off of it cold turkey a few years back and almost lost my mind!!!!! I can remember that time I just layed in bed all day b/c my body ached so badly I couldn't move. Plus I was so depressed I didn't want to move! Well now it is kinda the same story! My body aches ALL over, I am nauseous ALL the time, I have perma-headache, SEVERE irritability (poor Todd), and depression! It is sooo much harder this time b/c I can't just lay in bed all dia day long. I have a child to take care of! And I want to be a positive influence in said child's life each day! Not a bad one!!

I am struggling so hard and feel really hopeless!!! I went to my family doctor the other day and he basically told me I had two choices  a). be moody or b). get on prozac!! Then after he asked me why I felt like antidepressants weren't good during pregnancy (and I answered b/c of several sources: tv, my husband (aka pharmacist), and common sense) He preceded to tell me that if I was gonna listen to malpractice lawyers then why would I even come to a doctor!! Can you say J E R K!!! Yep done with that doctor!!! Oh and he told me that there is NO way I was having side effects/withdrawals from coming off of Paxil. Yep, basically told me I was just NUTS!!!

Neways here I am done with my meds and feeling like I am going to go crazy! My sense of smell is ridiculous! Even the smell of coffee now makes me feel sick!!! After tons of frustration I went into my pantry and took a dose of Prozac!! I feel so defeated!! I really thought I could beat this...with exercise and loads of help from others! But when I can barely get off the couch I am just not sure I can exercise! :(

So now I guess I am taking Prozac and if we get pg we will cross that bridge when we get there. I just need to be ME again! I am not this mean and angry person! I swear these days I DO NOT have an edit button!! And just thinking about going it solo this wkend (cause Todd works) makes me break out in cold sweats!!! I just hope the Prozac can atleast take away some of these withdrawal symptoms!

That is me...being REAL!!!

True Joy!

I captured a few pictures of Noah the other evening while my parents were over! I just can't get over the true JOY in his face in these pics ;)) enjoy!

And it is awesome to see the JOY in my parent's faces tooooo!!!!
I am sure we were watching Elmo and Noah was dancing :)))