Wednesday, October 26, 2011

an epiphany!

  Yes two posts in one day, what are ya gonna do? Neways!!! I know I am sporadic and post a ton some weeks and then go a week or two with no posts! Such is life :) But this was on my mind and while Noah is napping off his flu shot and resting from cutting 7, YES 7 teeth I am procrastinating  taking the opportunity to do more of what I wrote myself about and take care of me! Yes the house can wait, even if we are having guests over this evening!

There have been several pg announcements lately! Here on the blogosphere and IRL for me as well! The ones that are harder for me are the ones where it is a second child! But it dawned on me lastnight as I rocked Noah for 2 hours to get him to bed that I wasn't upset b/c I wasn't currently pg with our second child...but rather just irritated with myself in general! I was irritated with myself b/c I don't even know how I could cope with a second child right now. I mean YES I adore and love being a momma, but I am giving ALL I have at the moment and don't think I have much more to give at the moment. I am doing the best I can and most days I feel like I do a half butt job. That is me though, I may stress over not being perfect, but I am in no way going to give up sleep to be perfect!!!

So as I rocked my teething lil monster lastnight I realized that I was just angry with me! Not hurt that I wasn't pg! It was a revelation for me! I was just mad that I haven't lost the baby wt and that I don't seem to have it together like most moms expecting their second babes do, or so it seems. I know the grass is always greener and that not everyone really has it all together! Now instead of allowing myself to feel as if I was kicked in the gut when I hear of a pg announcement I am going to realize my new epiphany and move on!! God has a plan for me! And considering how easily I am losing my patience right now He seems to be RIGHT!!! Who knows maybe one kid is what He has planned for us all along! And Noah is totally enough!!! I remember when my arms were empty and I am just thankful that they are full now!!!!

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