Saturday, April 30, 2011

Listening to God!!!

I really can feel God showing me that I need to change my life and the way I live. I am sad to say that I am hesitant to do so and afraid even!!!

When I am scared to just trust in Him and believe that He will take care of all of my needs I look back on many of my own experiences. One in particular was dealing with tithing. As a teenager with a job I would tithe periodically. I wasn't the best at managing my checkbook and I worked at a bank..I know crazy!! I would always forget to put an entry into my checkbook and would end up asking my boss not to charge me the extra fees when I would end up bouncing a check. Neways I digress! So when I did tithe I would give everything I had in my account. It wasn't much but I did it anyways. And God would always come through for me! Either that morning my momma would leave me a 20 for gas or somehow I would end up with more money in my account! I always had more than I gave!!!

God has been leading me to change the way I live. You know the way most of us live...trying to achieve the "american dream". Gotta have the expensive car, big house, trendy clothes, best of everything!!!! It is the way we see success..in things, right? I never even considered this until I watched a recent Oprah show about a film director who gave it all up b/c ultimately it didn't make him any happier to have MORE!!! I never even realized that this was the way I viewed success! It was not something that I thought about everyday, but when I looked at how I lived my life I realized that I sooo do this!!!

I have also been reading the book Crazy Love and that book really makes you think and then try to figure out if you have enough faith to love God in that crazy love kinda way!!!! It has me thinking do I have what it takes to ask God to send me?? To surrender completely to God's plan for my life? To not be selfish  and instead be willing to give up comfort, living near family, status quo, a roof over my head, too much food in my pantry, a bed to sleep on, a car to drive...I could go on and on and on!!! Am I willing to do what God wants me to do...to love Him above all else and to love my neighbor like I love myself??? Think about that for a second!!! If you live for God then it shows, right? Right now if you looked at my life you would think I lived for food, television, internet, and myself!! If my favorite show is on tv I am either gonna record it or watch it. And yet when it comes to God I can't even pick up my bible and read His awesome perfect word!!

I realize that I don't have to sell my house and move to another country to fulfill God's plan, but I do realize that something is going to have to change or I am going to continue doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Which is the definition of insanity!!!!! I want to be able to not only tell Noah to love God, but to show him how I love God!!! I want to be able to do what the book crazy love says...to love even the ppl that I hate or don't like. To help the ppl that I am afraid of or give to ppl that aren't necessarily the "type" of ppl that you are "suppose" to give to!!! 

So yes God is talking to me and asking me a very important question. It is scary and my emotions and thoughts are going 90 to nothing. I have so much going on in my head and heart that I don't even think I could type it all out!!! I encourage you to read the book crazy love by Francis Chan if you have not read it!! It will change the way you look at life for sure.

I am not sure what God wants me to do. I have no idea, but I do know that He will take care of me and anything I do for Him is worth it.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
~Matthew 6: 19-20

3 comments:

shauna said...

I struggle with this same thing. It's so easy to get caught up in things (wanting more, better, newer). I think about Paul and how he said he learned to be content whether he had a lot or just a little. That's how I want to be too. Thanks for the reminder :)

Tracy said...

This was a great post and a great reminder to us all. I too have some of the same struggles at times, cause it can be really hard not to get caught up with all the materialistic things of the world unfortunetly. I feel like I try my best (most days) especially with having the girls now, but this makes me realize I can try HARDER and do better still. It's all about progressing right lol? I do want to say though that I do have a strong testimony that I have gained throughout the last few years with paying tithing. I had really questioned it before, but back a few years ago decided to put my full faith into the Lord in paying it, and ever since, he has ALWAYS came through! I know tithing is a struggle for many, including my husband and I before, but the Lord really has continued to bless us by us being faithful and giving back to him so little, compared to what he continues to give us. Your such a great example Dana and such a sweet person. Thanks again for this reminder that we can be better!

Katie said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart, Dana. It is such a wonderful reminder because it's very easy to get caught up in "things" when nothing else fulfills our hearts but Jesus!

Your Easter pictures are precious, too. ; )