Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Random things....

BTW I so went right up there and got Noah. I could NOT stand hearing him cry like that! I mean it was a cry that made me think he wasn't feeling well. So yesterday evening and napping was a bust!!! Noah was exhausted by the time Todd's mom got here. I had plans to go out with some friends to paint at a nearby school. She got Noah to nap a bit in her arms while I finished getting ready! But poor thing really doesn't feel good and I think I figured out why today. It looks like his left front tooth is starting to peek through. It hasn't broken the gums yet but you can see the white. His bottom left was the first to break through and then his right bottom followed right along. Maybe my poor baby is going to get four teeth at once!!

Today I cuddled him and pampered him all day!! We had fun just staying at home just us two! I blocked off the living room so Noah couldn't go all over the house so I had a break from chasing him so far :D He played well and took a great nap this morning. I had to fight him a bit!! But he finally layed his head down and off to sleepy town he went.

I just put him down for his second nap and that was A LOT of work!! WHEW!!! I started rocking him and he started fighting me. I mean this boy is STRONG! He climbs up me, tries to turn around...anything to get off of me. He really fights it HARD! I just kept praying for God to give me strength and oodles and oodles of patience. After fighting trying that for a while I decided to give him some tylenol after checking out this new tooth about to come through. And I fixed a bottle. He seems to be eating more lately! I am thinking it is b/c he isn't eating as much "real" food b/c of teething so he is eating his formula more. He went right to sleep eating his "ba ba" and I tried to put him in his crib!! NO GO!!! He jumped right up and started screaming like really loudly!! So I fought  rocked him some more and finally got him to go to sleep! Then I prayed again!!!!! I put him in his crib and he stayed asleep! PRAISE GOD!!!!!! I will be happy if he sleeps atleast 30 minutes!! He needs some rest!!!! So I am horrible at the CIO (crying it out) thing!!

New Tricks:
As I said earlier we had fun today playing just us! And Noah has really mastered waving bye bye and giving love (kisses). I got him on video (I will share if I can find the cord 4 the camera) where he even threw a toy for Maggie. She loves this orange fish bath toy and he gets it and throws it. Most of the time Maggie just runs away from him and sometimes she plays along. He is also trying sooo hard to give her love!! It is cute! Maggie just runs from him and he starts crawling after her with his mouth open ready to give kisses :D

Monday, March 28, 2011

Noah hates Naps!!!! Now I do too!!

Noah was doing so well at napping and sleeping at night. Well, I say he was doing well but I never really had a strict schedule of napping per se. The first nap of the day was easy b/c he would go down well and wouldn't fight me. Then came time for the second nap and it was HORRIBLE!! He started fighting me when I rocked him so I started giving him a kiss and putting him in his crib. Usually after a few minutes he would go to sleep! Well, NOW things are changing again!! I just put him in his crib for his second nap (after he fought me while rocking him) and he is still sitting in his crib CRYING!!!! And fussing at me! I swear he is telling me off!!! It has only been 10 minutes and I am going crazy!!! I have the monitor right beside me to monitor him and make sure he doesn't stand up and fall. So far he is just mad at me and wanting out of his crib.

Here is the dilemma!!! I need to get him on a regular nap schedule so I can decide on a good time of the day for his upcoming birthday!!!! I can't just let him nap whenever and honestly I did that with the second nap b/c it was a nightmare with him. So I would just let him stay up til he was super tired and he would take a really short late nap or we would put him to bed earlier. I have read some of Dr. W's book and it worked really good to begin with, but I guess b/c Noah would go down after a few minutes of protesting it made it easier.

I can't stand this crying so much!!!! I am second guessing myself and wanting to go and get him so badly. But I must remember that he NEEDS his sleep. It has been 2 and 1/2 hours since his morning nap and he is perfectly fine. He has been fed and changed and I gave him some tylenol b/c he is teething. I just wish I could fast forward through this and get to the part where he doesn't protest sleep so much!!!

This makes me feel like such a horrible momma!! UGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Family Fun!!!

Last Monday we took Noah to the GA Aquarium!!! We were super excited to take Noah and show him all of the beautiful fishies :D And we had a good time, but it was stressful b/c apparently not everyone knows that you simply can't stand in front of the same spot all day and hog it!! It amazes me that we would wait patiently holding a 24 lb baby boy and these ppl would just stand there and not even care that we were waiting. They would stand there forever, and one time we even just gave up and moved on....well we did that several times. Noah was worn out quickly so we rocked him in our arms and then we were worn out so we called it a day! But we got to see the Nemo fish and had a great time with each other!! It was an awesome family day and one that I have been dreaming of for a long time!! I am excited to do more family outings!!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Saturday Morning Scene

I am linking up with Katie @ Loves of Life for my very first Saturday Morning Scene. Well this will be more of an evening scene :D

This evening we spent time playing around the house and just CHILAXIN'!! Here are a few things we did :D Enjoy!!!

Noah has been pulling up on our coffee table and loves to play with the coasters.
 I love how intense he is about this coaster :D
 Then we played peek-a-boo! Love his cute tummy!!!
 And this boy is crawling everywhere!!!!!!! GOING
Noah keeps me on my toes for sure!!!! Wait for me Noah!!!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

10 Months! (just a few days late)

Noah Wesley, you are 10 months old!! What are you up to these days??
You started crawling and pulling up on everything! You are a great crawler now and you are loving finding new adventures to explore in the house!
You are really getting the hang of standing and can balance on your own for a few seconds.

 You found our backdoor window and enjoy looking out with your best pal Maggie :D Y'all are so sweet together!!!
 You haven't outgrown getting kisses from momma ( I hope you never outgrow them)! You are always smiling and so full of joy!
 When we ask you where the light is you look up at it and show us!! Too cute!! You have even attempted saying light it sounds like iiiiiidd. I am counting this as your first word b/c you actually know what you are saying! :D And yes this is how we roll in our playroom. You love to get all of your toys out of the bins and spread them around.
 You and Daddy have so much fun together doing "guy" things like scaring mommy at the top of the stairs!!
Look at you and your cute belly!!

 You are still unsure of grass and I am thinking it is b/c it is still dead and rough!
You are still my chunkey monkey weighing 24 lb!!! My BIG boy!!!

 My new favorite thing you are doing is giving kisses!! I just LOVE this new thing where you kinda eat my face. You do it while I am rocking you for a nap and we both end up laughing!

I FINALLY bought you some shades and you are not a fan of them. You kept them on for a few seconds and laughed and then you pulled them off. I am thinking you won't be wearing them this summer.

Gotta love tuperware!! Who knew it could be so much fun and help Mommy get dinner cooked. You are loving playing with all of my plastic bowls and lids.

 You adore Maggie!! I mean you really love her and just light up when you see her! You also have to help me take her out to potty and hold the leash everytime we go out! You are so good to her!!!! You even give her your toys :D And now some food too!!

Now for the 10 month pictures!! And here you are standing up for a few seconds. It looks like you are leaning on the chair, but you stood for a little while all by yourself!!

And I just had to share this sweet picture of Noah with his older cousin Caleb!! Isn't this just the sweetest!!!!!!!! 

Happy 10 months sweet boy! I am happy and excited to see you grow and learn new things, but sad that time is going by so fast! I am so thankful and honored to be your mommy and to get to see the world through your eyes!! You are such a sweet and loving little boy and you have such a passion for life. You are quite strong willed, not sure who you got that from..haha!! I love you dearly No No :D

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy 10 Mos.

Noah is 10 months old today and is a sick! Poor thing is teething up something terrible and has a cold. And so does his momma, well minus the teething part. So I will post a proper 10 mos. post later and hope to get some pictures too! We did go to the doctor today and Noah weighed 24 lbs!! BIG BOY :D Hoping my sweet boy gets better very soon!!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

party like it's 1999....no thanks!!!

Lately I am feeling just as like this girl in this picture!!! Yes it is me back in highschool and yes I was so that girl. You know the dorky nice girl that is clueless!!! The one that always believes everything anyone tells her and gets hurt because of it!! The unnattractive, insecure, totally uncoordinated (fancy term for clumsy), dork!! Yep that is me!!!

I am sure everyone wishes they could go back in time and tell their old self that everything will be okay and to just have fun and not sweat the small stuff. I wish I could go back and give myself confidence and a bit more common sense. Maybe even alot of book sense too, hehe!!! I would have told this girl to just be yourself and be proud of it. I would have told her she was beautiful!!! And then I would have shared a huge secret with her...that everyone else feels the same way too!!! And being clumsy is cute!! Haha!!!

Maybe I just need to tell myself some of that stuff right now!!! Okay therapy session over :D

Monday, March 14, 2011

PTSD from IF

Am I the only one that ends up going to the doctor after several ailments get to be too much?? Then I have a list a mile long and I am sure my doctor thinks I am a hypochondriac. Today I woke up with allergies (fun) and the dull pain in my lower left side just got to be too annoying to ignore so I called my family doctor. I guess I had convinced myself that it could not possibly be ovary related. Not at all, even though I have PCOS and a gazillion cysts on each ovary, nope not even gonna ponder that!! Yep, I am in denial too! The doctor set me up to go get a fun vag. u/s and I am sure they will find what has always been there..lots of cysts!!!!! I am going to go b/c it has been a while since I had one and I do want to make sure all is okay.

I am just frustrated with myself!! When I got in the car I just had to cry b/c this stuff always hits me hard. I just think how much IF has really done to me. It is times like a doctor's visit that reminds me that b/c of my past with IF I can never go see a doctor and not leave sad in some way. It just brings back sooo much pain. Like for instance they did a urine sample and b/c I am about to start there was some blood in it, so they are going to culture it. Well, all I could think was that I wasn't pg and I still felt like I did every other time that has happened. The doctor had no clue that I knew exactly what that meant for me.

I really thought that having Noah would somehow make all this magically disappear, but it hasn't. And now I know I have alot of issues I need to deal with!!!! I am still all messed up from the emotional rollercoaster I have been through!!! My counseling self knows I need to work on these issues and I am already processing them and getting them out (on here). That is one start!!!

I will always want to be "normal" but I know that I am not and there is a reason. A plan God has that is far greater than any plan I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful for Noah, and now I need to work and make sure I am the best momma I can be!! SO I got some work to do!!!!! I guess me giving up the mommy guilt for Lent didn't work!!! Can you ever give that up, really? I don't think so!!

So not only do I need to work on my physical body, but my emotional and spiritual self as well. Whew I am tired just typing that!!!!!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Mommy Fat Pad

As I got done doing my group power class I decided to ask the instructor the question she says she gets asked ALL of the time!! I asked her what kinda exercises I could do to get rid of the (what I call) mommy fat pad!! You know this new fatty area located below the fatty tummy area!! It is CRAZY!!!! I mean here I am working my hiney off and I look down and there is this chunk of horrible that I cannot seem to get rid of. Neways apparently doing abs where you lift your legs might help or the ones where you hang from the bar and lift your legs. I am now gonna have to figure out a way to dangle from my ceiling fan without breaking it..haha!!

I know that this isn't a topic that most ppl wanna talk about and I even almost decided against posting about it, but then I realized why attribute to the silence about mommy fat pads...haha! They are out there and I don't want anyone to think they are the only ones! Right, I am not alone??? Right?? :D Well, if you figured out a way to get rid of it please share :D

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm a I'm a I'm a be

Today has been really good!! It did storm and Noah was fussy, but as I sit here with Noah down for the night, the dryer sound in the background, and Maggie laying by my side I feel very thankful for today rain and all!!!! I have been working out (some) lately when I find the time, energy, and someone to watch Noah. Thankfully my momma watched Noah this morning so Todd and I could hit the gym and do the group power class (which explains the post title of the song that I cannot get out of my head from class). If you haven't heard of this class let me tell you about it!! You use a bar and wts and basically do a gazillion reps with smaller wts. It is tough but at the end I am very pleased that I pushed myself and the saying that exercise makes you have energy seems to be true b/c it gave me a lot of energy and motivation today!!! So YAY!!!! Since I started working out and taking my metformin again I have lost 7 lbs!!! I am super excited about that b/c I know the more I lose the healthier I will be and feel, plus I know it will help my body if God blesses us with another miracle!!!

Lately I find myself daydreaming about another miracle. Todd and I were even chatting about boy names today in the car. Then when we got home and oddly enough once Grammy leaves Noah decides to get fussy (I guess he didn't want her to leave). I looked at Todd and said are you sure we could handle another child? You should have seen the look in his eyes, it was as if I could see right into his heart b/c he smiled with his eyes and said yes right away!! I guess he believes in me alot more than I believe in myself!!!! It is fun to dream!!! And I am going to let myself dream about another child! I will not let IF take that away from me!!!!!!!!

On another note......I have recently come off of my antidepressant. I kinda missed some days and would take one and it ended up where I slowly came off of it. I know better than to just stop a medicine like that, however lately I have noticed that I am sleeping alot deeper and having very vivid dreams. Last night I slept so hard that I woke up feeling like I had run a marathon and I had these really vivid weirdo dreams. Then again today when Noah went down for a nap I went out and didn't hear the thunder or my friend calling me on the phone. I was really OUT!!!! I am not sure if this is a side effect of coming off of the meds or not..but you know me I love my sleep so I will take deep sleep over NO sleep anyday!!!!

And lastly, but certainly NOT least!!!!! Let's talk about Lent!!! I cannot believe I let Lent get here I have not even thought about what to give up. I just let it slip up on me and I am upset with myself about it! So instead of giving up food, internet, tv, etc I am going to work on something else instead. I am going to give myself a break in the mommy guilt department. I know that eliminating mommy guilt entirely will be impossible so I am going to work on it and give myself a break. If the laundry doesn't get done, no worries...if Noah stays in his pjs all day, no worries. If I don't cook dinner, no worries...hehe :D Hey this is sounding better and better!!!!

Sorry for the random post but I had a lot on my mind and a short time to post! I am hoping everyone is having a great week so far!! And I was wondering if y'all could pray for two ladies that have been on my mind alot!!
Nichole and Katie
Thanks so much!!!!

Sunday, March 6, 2011


I know the answer to my question, but I still have to say it anyways!! How in the world do I get anything done with Noah on the move?? HA!!! I am glad he is crawling and pulling up on EVERYTHING, but it makes it hard to do anything. I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone at all right now!!

The answer is to do it all while he naps!! But I have been a lazy livingston these days and gotta find my motivation. I think it has gone on vacation. Kinda wishin I could go on vacation with my motivation!!!!! Because right now when Noah is napping all I wanna do is join him!! Off to be more unproductive!!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

My Love, My Toby!!

I am very blessed to have a husband like Todd! As you can see he is quite the looker :D And he is just as beautiful on the inside too! I know this sounds corny but he is my other half!! He is not just my husband but my bestest friend!!! I love that I can be completely myself around him and he loves me all the same. Even when I sing totally off key, which is all of the time. Sometimes I think I have a running soundtrack in my head all day long, so you never know which song I will sing out. He is always telling me that I am beautiful and with this post pg body I soo need that. He listens to me rant on and on and on while I process things.

 He has taught me so much about life and myself!! He taught me about love and how to receive love. And I cannot forget that he showed me how to properly eat cereal, hehe!! Apparently putting the cereal in first is not right. You gotta do the milk and then add the cereal along the way so it doesn't get soggy!! And it is so much better that way :D
He is such an honorable man and always follows through on his commitments...come rain or shine!!! He works super hard to provide for his family and would give you the shirt off of his back or the shoes on his feet if you needed them!!! He puts pride in his work. He doesn't just clock in and go into robot mode, but he really cares about his patients and gives 110%!!

He is super silly and we always say that we need our own reality show, but I am sure we would end up just looking nuts to everyone else. I love laughing with him!!!

He is not one to hold grudges, which I need to work on!! He seriously gets over things so quickly and just forgives and forgets. I am trying to be more like that :D

He is a family man and always has been! That was one of the reasons I fell so hard with him. It was obvious that he loves his family!! He is an awesome daddy!! He is a hands on daddy!! He does baths, bottles, diapers, feeding, etc. You name it and he does it!!! And he doesn't complain one bit. He comes in from a long day of work and cannot wait to get his hands on Noah.

And last but certainly not least, he loves our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!!

I love you Toby!!! My love always!!!