Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Things I have learned about motherhood so far.....

There are so many things that I wish someone would had shared with me about motherhood!! So I am going to share and I am going to try not to worry about what anyone will think about what I write.

For one, no one tells you about MOM GUILT!!!! It is like from the moment you become a momma you question yourself and are always wondering if you are doing the best you can! I often find myself thinking that I could be doing better...doing more..etc. All the while you are sooo sleep deprived and recovering from major surgery (c-section) which is a combination that can drive you mad.

Which leads me to the next become a crying crazy woman! I cried everytime Todd left for work or if I even thought about him having to leave to go to work! I cried over EVERYTHING...sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying!!!

Then there is one thing that everyone told me about, but I didn't really listen. The sleep deprivation!!!! I kept hearing oh just nap during the day when the baby does!!! Well, an hour of sleep here and there does not equal rest!!!! And I need my sleep sooo badly! I love to sleep..ask anyone!!! So that has been the hardest adjustment for me. If I could get several hours of sleep in a row then I would feel like a new woman. Thank goodness Todd is taking tonight's feeding shift so I can do just that!!!

And be prepared b/c as soon as you start to sit down to eat, go to tinkle, or try to do anything that is when the baby will wake up!!! It never fails..haha!!! It seems like just as I am starting to feed Noah, Maggie needs to go outside so I have to beg her to come and sit with me and hold "it" until I can take her out. Yesterday I went all day without even brushing my teeth!!!! There are so many women out there that make it look easy! They get out of the house when the baby is like a day old fully dressed with make up on!!! Trust me, the few times I have gotten out of the house I have come home even more exhausted!!! And I think I have put make up on like 2 times since we got home from the hospital!!!

And if you have a boy be prepared to be peed on A LOT!!! We have washed our bedding so much from night time shootings!!! It seems like I have gotten peed on more than Todd..not fair..haha!! And last night I changed Noah's diaper three times in a row b/c he kept pooping after I would change him!!! All I could do was laugh!!!!

Then there is the gas issue!!! It will totally break your heart to see your sweety pie in pain and you can't do anything to fix it! Oh and remember how I swore by gripe water. Well, yeah not so much now! Noah HATES it...I mean does that yuck shaking your head thing and then spits it out!!! So I told him I wouldn't give him anymore since he hates it soo much!!

Also, ppl tell you that you are going to love your child, but no one explains how you can love someone soooo much...feel soo protective of him and would go without sleep, food or potty breaks for him anyday!!! I could sit and stare at Noah for hours watching his cute little face and listening to his cute little noises! And laughing when he toots and it sounds like a grown man's toot!!! Especially when it scares Maggie and she runs away thinking something is gonna get her. Also, there is watching Todd with Noah!!! Oh sooo precious!! No one told me how much more I would LOVE my husband!! How having a baby would bring us even closer together.

So there are just a few things that I wish someone would have told me!!! That the first few weeks are hard, really hard and that it is okay to be stressed...worried you can't do it...and overwhelmed!!! Motherhood is an adjustment just like any other adjustment/big change in your life! And if you are like me it takes time to adjust! So try not to beat yourself up if you don't breastfeed, or feel sometimes like you can't do it all, or go all day everyday in your pjs doing NOTHING but taking care of your child!!! I think it has been hard for me b/c I have expected myself to do more, but then I realized that I had MAJOR surgery and it is going to take me longer to heal than women that had a vaginal birth. Oh I almost forgot..if you do get a c-section be prepared for swelling and not being able to sleep for the first week!!! I was so swollen I couldn't even lay down and sleep b/c it hurt so bad. And it does take longer to heal with a c-section or to start feeling like yourself again! And lastly..(i promise) don't expect to fit into your old clothes anytime soon..unless you are genetically blessed. I still cannot fit into my "fat" clothes from when I gained wt during IF!! All I can wear is stretchy sweat type pants and big dresses!!! Nothing else will get over these huge hips!!!

So there you have been told :D


Amber said...

I so could have written several of these things and one thing I sure wish I would have known is how nerve wracking the first night/day home would be-oh my!

The Patterson's said...

Definitely some good points. I'm glad you realize that this is totally normal. The crying and getting peed on is SO true! :-)

Dale Budd said...

Spoken like a true Mommy! Babies have a secret button, that tells them when Mommy sits down to eat, (it works like the phone ringing at dinner time). First babies are "practice" children, so that the next ones seem really easy. Sweet Dana, it does get easier, but like anything worth waiting for, it takes adjustment. You are doing great, Noah is growing like a weed, and he is just a perfect, beautiful baby boy!!! Kiss him, hug him, and repeat as often as needed. He is a keeper, and you are a terrific Mommy!
Hugs to you!
A Mom-Mom in NJ

Birdee said...

What a great post. I'm so excited to watch you be a mom. Your a great mom!!

If there is anything I can tell you is that it does get easier. It took clear till I had my second child for it to get easier, but it does get easier.
But you described all my feelings as a first time mom to a "T". Rememberinb back (15 years ago), I used to get in the shower (when I actually could) and started crying (wiht my milk squirting all over the place) from being overwhelmed (Clip his nails twice a week, feed him every 2-3 hours, right side, left side, diapers - poop explisions - sleep deprivation-crying and not being able to decode the cry - everyone asking "do you know why he's crying" Guilt, exhaustion....

Made it real hard (honestly) to want to do it again after so many years.
But I did, and I savored every bit of crappy sleep I got every day past my due date. Because I knew...
But then, I had him, and he's now 9 1/2 monhts old and the first few weeks didn't feel like an eternity. Nights werent painful as I tried to peel my eyelids open and not drop him from physical and mental exhaustion. And my gosh! I didnt' cry or even feel overwhelmed! I kept thinking after he was born and the days were flying by (and I as getting in showers daily) "When is Shi# going to hit the fan" but it just didnt.
Even at his worst, I as at my most calm.
I think the reality you get when your on your second changes when you know they do grow up, and this too shall pass. Something you probably can't here now as much as you hear it. But you inspired me to want to share anyway. It is hard as heck but you are beautiful and doing everything exactly the way other mom's do it. And you have so many fun years ahead. This I know and I'm so excited for you.
I could go on and on but I'll shut up now, it's your post, not mine =D

shauna said...

I totally understand what you mean about mommy guilt. I know when Jakob was first born I was so hard on myself if I didn't have a spotless house and all the housework done, then I realized Jakob will only be a baby once, and it took a long time to get him here, I am not gonna stress out about things. I'm gonna enjoy my baby boy and the time will come when I have time and energy to do other things. It can be overwhelming having a newborn. It is difficult because you don't know their signals yet. You don't know what's bothering them. I had one day where no matter what I tried Jakob cried. I finally called Jeremy sobbing and he took the afternoon off work to come be with me. Of course Jakob was a perfect angel once daddy got home :) I think as women we always look at other mom's out and about and see them laughing and having fun with their kids, but we don't see them at home sleep deprived and worn out. Everyone has an adjustment period once they have a baby. You don't have to be super mom. You don't have to lose all the baby weight right away (few people do) Just take your time and rest when you can. I'll tell you right now, Jakob is 9 months old and I still have days when I am super tired. We will have time to sleep when they are older, and we'll be wishing they were little babies crying in the middle of the night :) Time goes by so quickly. Enjoy every minute
Love ya <3