Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Monday, June 28, 2010

My broken heart!

Today I got some really sad news. My Aunt Ann passed away and I am heartbroken! My dad called me this morning and I could not believe my ears. I just had nothing to say as the tears flowed down  my cheek. You see my heart was already broken b/c I lost my Uncle G.T. not too long ago (I didn't blog much about it b/c it was too hard to write about)!!! I am no stranger to losing loved ones, but it stings just the same each time one goes to be with our Lord. I know they are both in a much better place, but I am selfish and I want them both back here with me!!!!!! My dad told me to pray and to let Noah see me praying. I prayed for my Uncle and my cousins, I prayed for my lil' cousins that lost their grandmother and the one on the way that will not get to know his grandmother. Then I looked at Noah and it hit me that this lil' guy will not get to know his Great Aunt Ann or his Great Uncle G.T. and I could feel my heart breaking again for him, as if it could break anymore! I made a promise right then that I would tell him about them and make it as if he knew them. I will make sure to let him know how much they would have both adored him! I can just see my Uncle G.T.'s big smile now and I can feel my Aunt Ann's loving hug!!! Oh how I miss them!!!! I am thankful that I have those memories to pass down to my son!

I know that when you lose someone it always puts things into perspective. Like what life really should be about!!! And now that I am a mommy I want to make sure I get this right so I can help teach Noah that we should live each day showing our loved ones how much we love them, not to sweat the small stuff, and to praise our Lord each moment of the day!!!!

Please keep our family in your prayers! Both families, my Uncle Sam who just lost his wife (Aunt Ann) and their kids and grandkids. And keep my Aunt Sue in your prayers who lost her husband my Uncle G.T. not too long ago and their kids and grandkids too!! Pray for them to have peace, lots of love surrounding them, and pray for their broken hearts to heal!! It is all so hard and I cannot even imagine the pain my Uncle Sam and Aunt Sue are going through. The only solice is knowing that both of them were believers and are in heaven and one day we will all reunite! Oh what a day that will be!!!!! When we all get to heaven!!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Days 3 and 4!!! And today so far (day 5)

Day 3 almost kicked my BEEEHIND!!!! Thankfully, Todd's mom was over and helped out. Noah was fussy ALL day! He would NOT sleep unless you were holding him and most of the time he was wiggly and didn't really sleep. Poor thing was soooo tired. I guess he was either having a growth spurt or was just not feeling well. Needless to say babywise went out the window on day four b/c when my baby finally slept I let him!!!!!! He needed it soooo much!

Day four was a busy day. I had a hair appt. and so I loaded lil bit up and took him to my parent's house. Then he got to meet his great aunt and his cousins!!! Then we went home to spend time with his aunt and other cousins....went out to eat with Todd's fam to celebrate father's day...then went back home for some icecream cake!! It was a busy..busy..busy day! But somehow this child ate like a champ and slept ALOT!!! He was making up for yesterday!

So far today I have been amazed! Noah woke up and I changed his diaper first b/c it was a stinky one..HA!!! He tinkled everwhere!! Poor thing even sprayed his face!!! I hate to say that I laughed!!!Hehe!! So I through my now wet comforter on the floor and stripped Noah out of his wet clothes. I finished changing his diaper and then wrapped him up in a blanket to feed him! I swear I wash my comforter like every couple of days due to these "spray bys". I fed him a few ounces and then maggie decided she needed to go out...happens everytime!! I begged her to wait :D while I changed Noah into new dry clothes!!! After I took maggie out I finished feeding Noah b/c he seemed to want some more! He started to doze off so I wrapped him up and put him in his bassinet. I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before he would wake up again so I was just waiting for it. But nothing, he went to sleep on his own! I put him in his bassinet and he was awake...but drowsy and BAM I checked on him a few minutes later and he was asleep! I could have screamed I was so psyched, but I just did a little happy dance instead!!! And he has been sleeping for about an hour...YAY!!!

I know I didn't exactly do it the exact baby wise way, but it is working and he is going almost 4 hours between feedings at night. Sometimes he wakes up after 3, but I will take that anyday over every two hours!!!!! I have tons of pics from our day out so I will post them in another post, this momma is going to enjoy this quiet time and catch up on some much needed reading of my favorite celeb magazines!!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Days 2 and 3 babywisin' it!!!

Day 2 went well! We are still having troubles with napping. Noah has gotten used to being held or sleeping in his boppy on the couch (while I am right there to watch him). So I try to get him asleep and put him in his bassinet. Usually within 10 minutes he wakes up. Sometimes I can get him to nap for an hour, but that is rare unless I am holding him. I have started this habit and I feel bad b/c I took his first soother to sleep away (his bottle) and now I feel like nothing else soothes him. I know I am suppose to be teaching him to self soothe, but he is 5 wks old so that has been difficult. I am not sure how to do this...any suggestions for a five wk old?

On the evening of Day 2 Noah was more fussy than normal. Usually he is fussy in the evenings, but I could NOT get this child to sleep!!!! I think I had overstimulated him during the day and then with him not napping well, I think he was just over tired and irritated!! And on day 2 I started a bedtime, which right now I am not abiding by b/c today was well..I will get to that!!! I am trying to get him in bed by 8 or 9. That gives me more sleep and him too!!

Onto today, day 3!!! What a day!!! I had my doctor's visit and I knew this would throw the schedule off. We fed Noah before we left and then tried to keep him up while driving to the appt. Which is HARD b/c every baby sleeps while riding, or atleast I know I did!!! haha  He fell asleep after a few minutes awake so we went with it! Then when we got to the doctor's office Noah had a hissy fit. He was crying and we couldn't console him. He settled down a little bit and I went back to be cked out. Poor Todd was stuck in the waiting room and I could hear Noah crying all the way back in the office while I was being cked. Todd decided to feed Noah a bit early and it worked. He was content and happy after that. So I guess he was just hungry?? Who the heck knows..haha!!! It had only been an hour and a half after his first feeding that morning, so either he was hungry or he was tired and wanted that bottle to help him sleep. My child is stubborn and very strong willed already :D We went to eat lunch and Noah was still asleep and slept until we made a quick stop for more formula. It was time for him to eat again so we just chilled in the parking lot while I fed him and then I tried again to keep him awake...NO LUCK! He was out within two minutes and I was shaking loud toys and everything trying to keep him up!!! We got home and he was fussy again! After trying everything from rocking to walking around, I turned on the vacuum cleaner and it was like a magic sleeping pill b/c he dozed off. Of course, once we turned it off and put him in his bassinet (not in that order of course) he woke up! So we held him again and turned on the "sleeping machine". He slept and then woke up ready to eat! Todd let me nap so he told me Noah was fussy after his waketime and wouldn't nap, so we fed him again and he was hungry b/c he took 3 ounces! Maybe he is having a growth spurt!

I am starting over again tomorrow and here are my questions for all of you baby wise women!!!
  1. How do I get Noah to nap in his bassinet and not in my arms?
  2. How do I soothe this child without using the bottle! I have tried rocking, noise, singing, swaying, swings, bouncy seats, etc. Noise and rocking works but once I put him down he wakes up!!!
  3. Should I buy the nap nanny? Does it make him feel like he is being held?? Anyone love or hate it??
  4. When I go out and Noah eats before we leave what do I do to keep him up while riding? Do I just start the wake time when we arrive somewhere and then go from there??
Thanks for any help :D I am working hard and hoping this ends up working out!!! It sometimes seems like I am being mean by keeping him up and then I HATE him struggling to nap! And I HATE not being able to figure out how to console him during his fussy time at night. Oh and I do use gas drops so I don't think it is gas related. Plus we are on alimentum formula so there better not be any gas problems..HA!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Day One

Yesterday went good! Besides the fact that I was EXHAUSTED from sleeping a total of about 3 hours the night before and only getting a 45 minute nap yesterday...I think we did good for our first day of eat/wake/sleep training!! It was a little hard to keep lil bit awake after a bottle so I would strip him down, change his diaper...and I practically stood on my head to entertain him, HA!!!! We used the play gym alot and everytime I got on the floor to play with Noah, Maggie would bring me her toy so I had to throw her toy too!!! I felt like I had two kids!!! After lunchtime I started to breakdown from exhaustion and called Todd crying and begging him to come home (it was his 14 hour day). No such luck! But thankfully, my momma came over after work and brought me dinner and took Noah for a while! I was so glad to not only have the best company, but to get a break too! And she washed all of the dishes and bottles that had piled up! She stayed here til after 8 pm and that is tough b/c this woman gets up at 4 am to go to work! What a great mommy!!! I hope I can be like her with Noah!!!!

Onto lastnight!!!! Noah did great he slept for 3 hours one time, then got up at 3 am and I didn't think he was going back to sleep, he had spit up and seemed gassy, so I gave him some gas drops and he went back to sleep. Then slept for three more hours..YAY!!! Maybe this thing is working, uh oh I spoke too soon. He is crying and it is his sleep time...only 10 minutes in...gotta go!!!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Eat, Wake, Sleep...oh my!!!!

Okay so I have taken everyone's advice, skimmed through my baby wise book, and decided I CAN do this!!!! I figured out that Noah is on a good schedule of feeding every 2-3 hours so that is one good start, however I had the whole wake then sleep thing backwards! So today I am going to start working on feeding, then keeping lil bit awake, then getting him to sleep! It is already 10:30 am and I plan to start after the next feeding in an hour! I used my time this morning while he was sleeping to skim over the baby wise book.

Plus, I feel better b/c I looked at Noah's feeding habits at night and he usually feeds at the same time, granted I wish he would go longer between feedings, but hopefully doing this will help! I never knew this would be so hard. If I did I would have read the stinkin book while I was pg and prepared myself. Plus, if you are pg read up on breastfeeding and baby wise NOW!!! Don't wait!!!! B/c even though I know I can't go back I wish I was more prepared for breastfeeding, b/c I think I would still be breastfeeding now. A few tips I learned was: DO NOT let the nurses talk you into giving your baby a bottle in the hospital or a nipple guard! Mine did and I think Noah got used to the nipple guard and getting his food fast! Go ahead and rent a pump ahead of time and last but NOT least get help from others so you can rest. B/c exhaustion truly is the number one reason women stop breastfeeding. Be prepared to work hard!!!! Okay that is just what I learned!!!

Well, pray for me please!!! And pray for Noah too!!! I hope this works!!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy 1st Father's Day Todd!!!!

Todd is one amazing daddy and loves Noah sooo much!!! We love you Todd!! Thank you for being such an amazing Daddy and Hubby!!!

Here is my dad and mom with Noah, kisses from P-papa
Happy father's Day Daddy!!!!

see how awesome todd is as a dad, he even gets in Noah's play gym with him :D

Noah Loves his Daddy!!! Can't you tell???

And I had to post this pic of Noah's little mow hawk (sp?) Too cute!!!

And we didn't get to see Todd's parents for Father's day b/c my nephew was sick, but here is a pic from when Noah was born of Todd with his dad :D Two great dads!! Happy Father's Day Dad!!!!
Look at how Todd is just beaming with pride!!!
Happy First Father's Day Daddy, Love Noah

A day in the life!!!

I know I should be posting father's day pics and a post about that, but I will later! Right now the only thing on my mind is Noah and his eating/sleeping habits!!!!! I took everyone's advice and have made sure to write down what a day and night is like in this household. And here is what it looked like:
  1. Noah woke up at 5:25 am and ate 3 ounces and went back to sleep at 5:53
  2. Then he woke up at 8:41 so he slept about 2 hours and 40 minutes, he then ate 3 ounces.
  3. We decided to start out day and head downstairs so I put him in his play yard and he loved watching his mobile while I washed bottles and ate breakfast.
  4. Noah go the hiccups and since he HATES gripe water, I fixed him a little more formula to see if it would help. NO LUCK with that, he ate 1/2 an ounce
  5. He was awake til 10:10 a total of an hour and 30 minutes and then fell asleep on my shoulder (i know bad momma)
  6. So I realized that I needed to put him in his bassinet and let him sleep and he slept for a few minutes and then woke up. I guess he is already spoiled.
  7. Since he was awake I put him in his bouncy seat at 10:37 and I got in the shower. I was almost done and he started crying so I hurried out.
  8. I fixed him a bottle b/c he had not eaten since 8:41 (unless you count the 1/2 ounce at 9 am).
  9. The little stinker sweety only ate 1 ounce, I tried to feed him more and it was not happening!!!
  10. He fell alseep again in my lap from 11:20 to 12:05
  11. When he woke up at 12:05 I tried to feed him more and he took 2 1/2 ounces (yay)
  12. Then slept from 12:22 to 12:30
  13. Awake from 12:30 til 12:33
  14. Asleep from 12:44 til 1:50
  15. Ate 1 ounce at 2 pm
  16. Slept from 2:20 til 4
  17. wake from 4 til 4:30
  18. We went out to eat and he was awake from 4 til 6, eating 5 ounces off and on til 7:45: eating 3 ounces at 6:30 and then 2 ounces at 7:45.
  19. Awake from 9 til 9:45, ate 1 1/2 ounces at 9:25
  20. Asleep 9:45 til 12:20 am
  21. 12:30 am ate 4 ounces and slept til 3:19
  22. Ate 2 ounces at 3:19
  23. slept til 5:40, ate 3 ounces
  24. woke up at 8:15, and i could go on and on and on!!!
However, now that I look at this schedule he was taking more ounces than he has the past few days. Today I even undressed him and put him in his bassinet to try and get him to take more formula!!! He only took one more ounce. I am so frustrated b/c I have tried the pacifier, walking him around, using toys (mobile, playgym, etc), singing to him, but when he is hungry the only thing that makes him stop crying is a bottle!!!! And then he will take one once and fall asleep! UGGGG!!!! And I cannot let my one month old cry it out. He is too little for that. But that is just my opinion!!!

Lastnight he ate every two hours exactly and each time the ounces varied from 1 ounce to 3 ounces!!!! I just don't know what to do. I even gave him a bath before bedtime, then a massage, then a bottle, swaddled him up TIGHTLY and put him in his bassinet!!!! And he only slept for an hour!!!!! Then woke up and took 2 ounces, would NOT let me put him in his bassinet to sleep. He kept waking up when I put him in it. So he took 1/2 ounce more and finally went to sleep at 12:28 and slept til 2:30!!! And was up every two hours after that! And I wait til he is crying to get him up to eat. I even tried not changing his diaper once (only a tinkle diaper) hoping that would help him stay asleep, b/c I wasn't waking him up. And I don't talk to him at night, it is very dark in our room and I have tried the noise machine.

So needless to say I am super frustrated and super confused!!! I know what I should be doing, but it just doesn't seem to work. I mean how do you keep a one month old awake after a bottle for activity time??? Sorry this post is super long, I just needed to get it out! Thanks for letting me vent! I know that every baby is different just like every person is different, but it is hard not to blame myself for this!!! And this momma needs some sleep!!!! So how the heck can I read a book?? I don't have time!!! Okay I am done........

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I gotta take a minute to talk about Noah and his eating every 2 hours!!! I know that I have talked to Dr. Google and my Pediatrician and the consensus is that every baby is different just like big ppl :D And that it is normal for a baby to eat every 2 hours, but seriously!!!!! I am soo exhausted from it and wondering if I am doing anything wrong!

We switched Noah to alimentum by similac b/c we thought he was getting gassy but looking back it could have been that his bum was irritated. And I know that with Alimentum babies tend to eat more b/c it doesn't really stick with them. So I am debating putting Noah back on his old formula. Just to give you an idea of what my nights look like let me break it down for you!

Lastnight Noah ate:
3 ounces from 10:30 to 11:30 and slept from 11:31 to 1:22 = 2hours of sleep
3 ounces from 1:25-1:51
1 and 1/4 ounces from 2-2:25, then wouldn't go to sleep til 2:45 til 4:44 = 2 hours of sleep
2 1/2 ounces from 4:44 -5:10, and slept from 5:10 til 7:44 = 2 hours and 44 minutes of sleep

But remember when I give the totals of sleep time that is Noah's sleep time. I still have to put him in his bassinett (hope he stays asleep, so I usually have to stand there and work with him to stay asleep for a few minutes) then I sometimes have to tinkle and plus my mind is wide awake so it takes me time to fall back asleep. So in reality I am only getting about an hour and a half at the most in between feedings. And by 8 am I get up and get everything ready and go downstairs to start the day!!!

Today he had 5 poopy diapers so he fed alot and I let him b/c I didn't want him to become dehydrated. So I didn't get much sleep today. I think I got a 45 minute nap and that was b/c my mom came by. I just want to get more sleep so I can have more energy and be a better mommy. I feel like I am not such a great mommy b/c I am tired. Today I made sure to focus all of my attention on the little monkey!! I would love any advice on what I can do! Oh and yes I have heard to try rice cereal, but Todd is worried about food allergies and the dr. said that formula is better b/c it has more calories. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy One Month Noah!!!!

Noah sleeping with Nanny! Remember she took the night shift the other night and when I came down to ck on him this is what I saw...so sweet!
Pic with big sis Maggie, can you tell she has been neglected? She so needs to be groomed. Poor girl, but she is so good with Noah!

First pic of a yawn!!!

Smiling at Grammy! I LOVE IT!!!

Check out those eyelashes, he got those from Todd!

Sleeping on Daddy's shoulder is the best!

Isn't this precious! Daddy with his boy!

Visits with GREAT FRIENDS!! Love Naomi and her daughter, cutie pie Sophie!

My lil allstar!!

Loving visiting with my Aunt MB (lil sis)

1 Month old pics

Not so happy about this mommy..haha

Love this pic, oh that face...i could eat him up!

Noah is one month old today, 6-17-10!!!
He is now in size 1 diapers and still eating 2-3 ounces every 2 hours, sometimes four ounces! I will be glad when he eats more and sleeps longer!
He has started to really focus on faces and can follow toys and sounds.
And he started smiling for us! I love seeing him smile!
He LOVES his mobile and the ceiling fan!!
He is such a grunter and makes all kinds of noises, I am guessing he will be a talker like his mommy. He looks like he is trying to talk so badly.
He loves to lay on his belly on my shoulder and I love it too!
I am not sure how much he weighs right now, but I am guessing 10 lbs.
I cannot believe it has been a month already, he has changed and grown so much!
Noah Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Happy One Month B-day little monkey!!!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I feel like a NEW woman!!!!! Let me recap the past couple of wonderful days!!! On Monday Todd came in and I was soooo exhausted and done, so I gave him Noah and headed upstairs for a very long very hot shower! It was just what I needed b/c I couldn't remember the last time I showered, brushed my teeth, etc!!! Needless to say I needed a "mommy break" and Todd was so happy to have daddy time with Noah. After the shower I felt more like me and less like a cavewoman..hehe

Then Todd took that night's shift with Noah and I slept for over 6 hours straight...I mean like in a row!!!!! YAY!!!! And it is crazy b/c my mom senses are so in tune that I heard Noah cry twice that night and I was upstairs! So I woke up rejuvenated and with Todd's help we cleaned the house! It had gotten pretty bad...I mean trash piled up with stinky diapers and bottles everywhere and bibs and burp clothes...oh my!!!!

Later that day Todd's mom and dad came over and watched Noah while Todd and I had a date night! And yes it was hard to leave him, but we just left and I knew he was in good hands with his grandparents. And of course, they spoiled him rotten!!! I only called home twice :D Todd and I went shopping for a bit and I got some sundresses to hide this baby bump I am still carrying around. I bought like four of them in every color :D Then we went to eat Japanese..our favorite lately and had the best time! It was so nice to just get out and hang with my sweety! Of course, we talked about Noah alot..HA!!!

Then Todd's mom (aka Nanny) stayed the night and took that night's shift with Noah! So this girl got two nights in a ROW of sleep!!!!! I am on cloud nine!!! So I woke up this morning thinking I had hit the lottery! And I couldn't wait to get downstairs to see my little monkey! He was laying there with his Nanny all snuggled up and asleep. It was priceless!!!!! I have already told Todd's mom that I need to schedule her again very soon :D and I am sure she would LOVE it!!

Then...as if there could be more great stuff, right...but there is!! Today my lil "sissy" came to visit me! Okay she didn't really come to see me..she came to see Noah..hehe!!! She held him the entire time and he was in heaven with his Aunt MB. This girl is good, she has such a natural mothering instinct and just looked so at home with him in her arms. I had such a great time chatting and catching up with her. I have always wished and prayed for a little sister and I am so glad that now I have one :D Love U MB!!!!!

Then...yes there is more :D My parents came by and visited us after MB left. They spoiled Noah rotten too!!! He is very loved can't you tell? My momma brought some more outfits for Noah that she made..which I love getting!!! And she fed Noah too! I just love watching Noah with my parents and Todd's parents! It is sooo sweet!!!

Now are you jealous of me or what??? Noah is fast asleep after such a great couple of days and lots of spoiling and I am chilling on the couch about to watch a few shows I recorded. I am a bit nervous about getting back into a routine tonight with Noah, but I am so excited b/c I have missed my little monkey!!! I still can't get over how much I love this little dude! Tomorrow Noah will be a MONTH old. Boy time is flying by! He will be 16 before I know it. I will take some pics tomorrow with his blocks and post.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Me time!!

I may just be getting the hang of this mommy thing! Well, somedays I feel like I have and others I feel like I haven't!!! Especially when Noah is crying and I can't do anything to make him feel better. But there is one thing I am realizing and that is I need to work on getting in some me and Toby time...and some just me time too!!! I have always told my sissy to do this b/c you know how it is "mom guilt" creeps in and you feel bad for wanting a second to yourself. But I have always told sissy that it is good for her girls when she gets some time too!! So I am trying to tell myself just that!!!

I am in desperate need of a haircut and possibly a new do! Or atleast some bangs again. I actually miss them :D And Todd and I are movie lovers and there are several movies that have come out that I would LOVE to go and see. Todd's mom has offered to keep Noah one evening so we can go out! I just hope I can make it! It will be hard to leave him for the first time with someone other than Todd. I am sure I am going to call a million times..haha!! Say a prayer for me and my nerves and I will ask God to help me too!!! If I don't start letting go now I NEVER will!!!!

And can someone tell me when my stinkin uterus is going to shrink back??? I know that has to be the reason I still have a 3 month pg belly....right?? haha It is so frustrating b/c my old fat pants fit except they won't button b/c of my new muffin top!!!!! I know it takes time and it has only been almost four weeks, but come on is there a light at the end of this tunnel??? I still have 30 lbs to lose and I will be at my pre-pregnancy wt and I plan to do it b/c I had worked sooo hard to get to that wt not so long ago!!! I just don't see how I am going to find the energy to work out when I get two hours of sleep at a time and a total of maybe 5 hours at night...not in a row, mind you!!! Okay..okay I am going to give my body time to heal and focus on this little monkey instead of this little muffin top!!! But a girl can dream!!!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Pictures...Pictures...Pictures (3 wks)

As my little one is snoozing away I thought I would get in a post! I probably should be sleeping too, but maybe I can post this quickly and still get in a few z'ssss!!!

Here is a pic of my sweety when he actually liked swinging..that lasted once! Now he isn't such a fan!!!

He always has his head to the side..doesn't look comfy but he likes it :D

Noah in his cute hat. We used it so the sun wouldn't get in his eyes. This was before our outing to eat Japanese..our new favorite place to go!!!

I love how he puts his little hand on his cheek while he sleeps toooo cute!!!

The best 3 wk picture I could get. This little booger kept moving!!!

Grammy and Noah...he was in heaven on his grammy's chest :D

Sweet lil' hand!!!

cutie pie!!!!

Lately Noah has had a sore bum, so we got some meds for it and now he is feeling MUCH better. We also had to switch his formula again!!! I am hoping this one works! He has started LOVING laying on my chest and I am LOVING it too!! It is such a great bonding time!!!! He has also started going 2 and a half hours between feedings at night, so I am hoping that is a good trend. And sometimes he goes 3 hours :D YAY!!! He is starting to focus more on things and LOVES his mobile, the fan in our living room, and anything bright and colorful. When he sees it he makes this sweet sound like he is talking to it..haha I love this new sound, it is soo sweet!! He is still in newborn diapers even though he weighed 9lbs and 13 oz at his last doctor's appt. His belly button is almost healed so I am hoping to give him his first bath very soon. I know he will like it b/c he likes his sponge baths! I can't believe he will be 4 wks old on Monday and soon a month old on the 17th!!!! CRAZY!!!

Okay I better go and get a little nap in before lil bit wakes up :D I hope all has a great wkend and thank y'all for all of the encouraging comments!!! I am in soo need of reassurance as a new mommy!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Things I have learned about motherhood so far.....

There are so many things that I wish someone would had shared with me about motherhood!! So I am going to share and I am going to try not to worry about what anyone will think about what I write.

For one, no one tells you about MOM GUILT!!!! It is like from the moment you become a momma you question yourself and are always wondering if you are doing the best you can! I often find myself thinking that I could be doing better...doing more..etc. All the while you are sooo sleep deprived and recovering from major surgery (c-section) which is a combination that can drive you mad.

Which leads me to the next thing...you become a crying crazy woman! I cried everytime Todd left for work or if I even thought about him having to leave to go to work! I cried over EVERYTHING...sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying!!!

Then there is one thing that everyone told me about, but I didn't really listen. The sleep deprivation!!!! I kept hearing oh just nap during the day when the baby does!!! Well, an hour of sleep here and there does not equal rest!!!! And I need my sleep sooo badly! I love to sleep..ask anyone!!! So that has been the hardest adjustment for me. If I could get several hours of sleep in a row then I would feel like a new woman. Thank goodness Todd is taking tonight's feeding shift so I can do just that!!!

And be prepared b/c as soon as you start to sit down to eat, go to tinkle, or try to do anything that is when the baby will wake up!!! It never fails..haha!!! It seems like just as I am starting to feed Noah, Maggie needs to go outside so I have to beg her to come and sit with me and hold "it" until I can take her out. Yesterday I went all day without even brushing my teeth!!!! There are so many women out there that make it look easy! They get out of the house when the baby is like a day old fully dressed with make up on!!! Trust me, the few times I have gotten out of the house I have come home even more exhausted!!! And I think I have put make up on like 2 times since we got home from the hospital!!!

And if you have a boy be prepared to be peed on A LOT!!! We have washed our bedding so much from night time shootings!!! It seems like I have gotten peed on more than Todd..not fair..haha!! And last night I changed Noah's diaper three times in a row b/c he kept pooping after I would change him!!! All I could do was laugh!!!!

Then there is the gas issue!!! It will totally break your heart to see your sweety pie in pain and you can't do anything to fix it! Oh and remember how I swore by gripe water. Well, yeah not so much now! Noah HATES it...I mean does that yuck shaking your head thing and then spits it out!!! So I told him I wouldn't give him anymore since he hates it soo much!!

Also, ppl tell you that you are going to love your child, but no one explains how you can love someone soooo much...feel soo protective of him and would go without sleep, food or potty breaks for him anyday!!! I could sit and stare at Noah for hours watching his cute little face and listening to his cute little noises! And laughing when he toots and it sounds like a grown man's toot!!! Especially when it scares Maggie and she runs away thinking something is gonna get her. Also, there is watching Todd with Noah!!! Oh sooo precious!! No one told me how much more I would LOVE my husband!! How having a baby would bring us even closer together.

So there are just a few things that I wish someone would have told me!!! That the first few weeks are hard, really hard and that it is okay to be stressed...worried you can't do it...and overwhelmed!!! Motherhood is an adjustment just like any other adjustment/big change in your life! And if you are like me it takes time to adjust! So try not to beat yourself up if you don't breastfeed, or feel sometimes like you can't do it all, or go all day everyday in your pjs doing NOTHING but taking care of your child!!! I think it has been hard for me b/c I have expected myself to do more, but then I realized that I had MAJOR surgery and it is going to take me longer to heal than women that had a vaginal birth. Oh I almost forgot..if you do get a c-section be prepared for swelling and not being able to sleep for the first week!!! I was so swollen I couldn't even lay down and sleep b/c it hurt so bad. And it does take longer to heal with a c-section or to start feeling like yourself again! And lastly..(i promise) don't expect to fit into your old clothes anytime soon..unless you are genetically blessed. I still cannot fit into my "fat" clothes from when I gained wt during IF!! All I can wear is stretchy sweat type pants and big dresses!!! Nothing else will get over these huge hips!!!

So there you have been told :D

Monday, June 7, 2010


We had our second doctor's visit today and Noah has gained a pound in two weeks!! :D He now weighs 9lbs and 13 oz!!! His umbilical cord was hanging on by a thread so the dr. pulled it off...which I was sooo glad b/c YUCK!!!! It still needs a bit of healing so now I just have to put neo on it and it should be all healed in no time! We discussed changing formulas b/c the past couple of days Noah has been super gassy and not feeling well. I hate it when he has gas b/c I know it hurts him and I can't make it go away! We tried gas drops, gripe water, moving his legs up and down like a bicycle motion...nothing helped!!! Now we are using a more sensitive formula.

And let me tell you I am having the worst time b/c I feel soooo guilty for not breastfeeding!!! I find myself wishing I would have just stuck with it longer, but I was just so tired...no I was EXHAUSTED!!! It has been hard to not want to kick myself about this and beat myself up! I feel so guilty!!!! MOM GUILT stinks!!!! Plus, it seems like everyone I know is breastfeeding. And I ran into a neighbor/friend the other day and she had the same problems I had, but stuck with it and is now breastfeeding successfully!!! So what do can I do to not be so bummed over this???

Okay now more focus on the most important lil' guy in my life!! He is 3 weeks old today. And I haven't been able to take a picture b/c we went to the doctor and it seems like I haven't had time to get one....and when I do have time he is sleeping and I want one when he is awake. Hopefully tomorrow I can get one ;D We took Noah out to eat again yesterday and then decided to go to wally world!!! I had a mini meltdown b/c of course once we got started shopping Noah got fussy and it was almost time for him to eat! Plus, you know how wally world is....TONS of ppl and I panicked! I kept thinking of germs and got into protective mommy mode! After Noah started crying I just pulled our buggy into a vacant isle and started feeding him. All I could think was I HAD to get out of here!!! Thankfully, Todd was chill and took Noah to the car to finish feeding him and I checked out!! Then I got to the car and cried!!! I know, I freaked out, but it was our first time really out and our first time that Noah was hungry and crying!!!! Well, after a few good tears and Todd calming me down I was fine.

Since I had calmed down we then went to Todd's work to show Noah off and get the rest of the stuff we didn't get to get at wally world. That trip was much better :D And of course, everyone loved seeing Noah!!! After we got home I was spent!!! And I had to wash my hair...dry my hair...and str8en my hair for the next day b/c we had an early doctor's appt. BTW it takes me 30 minutes to dry my hair...so that is why I have to do it the night before or it will not get done! I ended up just going to bed with wet hair b/c I just did not have the energy to dry my hair and do all the night feedings too. I was so glad that Todd split the night feedings up with me!!! This every two hour thing is for the birds!!!

Tonight I am all alone on the feedings and dreading it! Todd is working 14 tomorrow so I am sending him into the guest room so he can get some rest...I am sooo jealous!!!!! So that is what has been going on with me lately!!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

My new best friend!!!

GRIPE WATER is my new best friend and Noah's too!!!!
Todd brought some home lastnight and it has been the best!!! Noah's little tummy wasn't feeling good yesterday and of course y'all all heard about the hiccups!!! As soon as we gave him this miracle stuff he was at ease! It was like his tummy calmed down and he could finally rest. So mommy and daddy got to rest too :D YAY!! Then this morning he had the hiccups and I gave him some and BAM they were gone! So I am now a huge fan!!!
I am excited b/c today we are getting out again!! Todd is off of work and we need some more supplies (diapers, bottles, etc) so we are heading to wally world. I just love getting out b/c being stuck in the house can make you go nuts! And on Monday I can officially become a driver again!!! So maybe I will get up the nerve to get Noah out on my own next week, we shall see!! HAHA!
I also wanted to share the link of Noah's newborn pics! It is http://jennifersnook.zenfolio.com/ Just look for the pic with his name under it and click on it and enjoy!!! Hope everyone has a great wkend!! I can't believe my baby is gonna be 3 wks old on Monday...time it is a flying by!!!