Sunday, May 3, 2009

just freaking out about tomorrow!

I am totally freaking out about tomorrow. I have gone over anything that I did last time that might have made me feel like I wasn't doing the best to let the embies attach. I have decided that I am going to go straight home from the doctor's office..and if we need to stop for lunch we are going to do the drive thru thing and I will stay in the car. Then when I get home I am planning to be on bedrest for a few days. I haven't come up with an actual number of days. I know that no matter what I do..what is going to happen is going to happen. So I am doing this for my own sanity.

I planned to get sooo much stuff done today so that next week I could just chill, but I have been frozen today...watching abc family movies ALL day!! I know pathetic. I really wish I could just fastforward two weeks and be done with everything..and know my fate. I know I should be hopeful, but I can't help but constantly analyze my chances. I wonder if the doctors have tested everything...what if they forgot something important. Like I have an overactive immune system..or need certain hormones to help with implantation. And should I request them to help with the hatching???? As you can see I am still in control war with God..I need to just let go and give it over to Him. I know that I am NOT in control and He is!! But of course I am only human and so imperfect.

Todd is working tomorrow, so my friend is driving me to the FET. Then Todd gets off and is off til Wednesday afternoon. So I will get some pampering..YAY!! And I am so psyched b/c our ac has been out upstairs and it will be fixed tomorrow evening. Which is awesome b/c we have been sleeping in our room and it has been fine with the windows up and the fan on..at night, but the pollen is testing my allergies. Today I cleaned the windows up there and there was tons of pollen on the windows. No wonder my eyes are itching.

Lord, please help me not fear, but to have hope. To let go and trust You! I love you! In Jesus name I pray, Amen

7 comments:

Stafford Moments said...

Dana I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck tomorrow everything will go great! Melissa

Stuart and Sarah Creamer said...

Just try to relax as best as you can and try to give it over to God! That is the only way you will find some peace! Easier said than done...I know :-) Love ya and praying for you!

Living With Loss said...

Good luck...you are in my thoughts.

The Carter Family said...

Remembering you on this wonderful day! Can't wait to hear how everything went! May God give you peace over these next 2 weeks while you wait! ((HUGS))

I Believe in Miracles said...

Praying for you sweetie!! Hoping and trusting with you.
xoxo

Birdee said...

My Thoughts and Prayers are with you today and these next few weeks.

Becca said...

Dana, I prayed for you this morning! I hope everything went well and you are now home resting. Update us when you can!