Monday, April 27, 2009

Update

Today I went to the dr. He did an ultrasound to check on my uterine lining. Everything looked great. So we are doing the FET on May 4. I went to the dr. by myself b/c Todd has been sick lately. He was coughing so much that he lost his voice. So I wanted to let him just relax and sleep in. For some reason it has always been hard for me to go to the dr. alone. I am such a baby about it. Even though I am not sick..I still like to have someone with me. I think it is b/c I am so shy and quiet. Also, I am sure that right now I am supersensitive to everything! When the dr. did the ultrasound he said..that my ovaries were quiet. Which made me sad. I didn't ask any questions b/c it seemed that he was in a hurry. I know that my ovaries being quiet is good for the FET...and was a goal in the IVF. But it still sucks. It means that I more than likely cannot ovulate on my own. Even though I pretty much already knew this..it is just hard right now. Of course, it makes this upcoming FET more nerve racking b/c obviously I don't have hope of getting pg on my own. I need help with that!!

So on my way home from the doctor...I was super sad...and couldn't wait to get home. I think my meds are making me nauseous and tired.

On a better and happier note. Lastnight I was overwhelmed at how God is comforting me. We were at T's parents house and his aunt and uncle came to visit us. I chatted with his aunt and was updating her about our FET. I am very open about IF..which sometimes I regret, b/c I am constantly talking about it and I feel like I get other ppl's hopes up only to make them crash down. Neways, as she was telling me to trust God, my eyes started to tear up. So she asked if I wanted to pray..and I was like OF COURSE!! SO everyone grabbed hands and she started praying. I couldn't tell you what exactly she said..but I was blubbering and showing God my heart through it all. I have never had someone do that before. She even put her hand on my stomach while she prayed. You would think I would have been nervous about that..or I would have thought so..but I was so at ease.

It is so annoying to me that I am still sad. Here I have God trying to reassure me, but I can't get rid of this mood.

2 comments:

Rosemary - My Patch of Serenity said...

Dana,
I have been thinking of you.
Hoping that you are feeling much brighter today
Rosemary
xxx

osuraj said...

Getting ready to do an FET myself here soon, best of luck to you!!!