Monday, April 27, 2009


Today I went to the dr. He did an ultrasound to check on my uterine lining. Everything looked great. So we are doing the FET on May 4. I went to the dr. by myself b/c Todd has been sick lately. He was coughing so much that he lost his voice. So I wanted to let him just relax and sleep in. For some reason it has always been hard for me to go to the dr. alone. I am such a baby about it. Even though I am not sick..I still like to have someone with me. I think it is b/c I am so shy and quiet. Also, I am sure that right now I am supersensitive to everything! When the dr. did the ultrasound he said..that my ovaries were quiet. Which made me sad. I didn't ask any questions b/c it seemed that he was in a hurry. I know that my ovaries being quiet is good for the FET...and was a goal in the IVF. But it still sucks. It means that I more than likely cannot ovulate on my own. Even though I pretty much already knew is just hard right now. Of course, it makes this upcoming FET more nerve racking b/c obviously I don't have hope of getting pg on my own. I need help with that!!

So on my way home from the doctor...I was super sad...and couldn't wait to get home. I think my meds are making me nauseous and tired.

On a better and happier note. Lastnight I was overwhelmed at how God is comforting me. We were at T's parents house and his aunt and uncle came to visit us. I chatted with his aunt and was updating her about our FET. I am very open about IF..which sometimes I regret, b/c I am constantly talking about it and I feel like I get other ppl's hopes up only to make them crash down. Neways, as she was telling me to trust God, my eyes started to tear up. So she asked if I wanted to pray..and I was like OF COURSE!! SO everyone grabbed hands and she started praying. I couldn't tell you what exactly she said..but I was blubbering and showing God my heart through it all. I have never had someone do that before. She even put her hand on my stomach while she prayed. You would think I would have been nervous about that..or I would have thought so..but I was so at ease.

It is so annoying to me that I am still sad. Here I have God trying to reassure me, but I can't get rid of this mood.


Anonymous said...

I have been thinking of you.
Hoping that you are feeling much brighter today

osuraj said...

Getting ready to do an FET myself here soon, best of luck to you!!!