Thursday, April 30, 2009

My story

I wanted to write a post dedicated to NIAW. I have read so many amazing and inspiring stories from my fellow sisters in honor of NIAW...National Infertility Awareness Week. Okay so here is my story...

Before I married my Toby..(aka Todd) my MIL..yes my MIL..bugged me about getting on BCPs. We were both still in grad school and I had hoped that I would be fertile myrtle like my sister. I got on the BCPs in 2005 and they SUCKED!! I never could get used to we decided that we would leave our fate up to God. I think I stopped taking them after a few months. We just went through the next year trying to finish up school and breathe at the same time. I am sure that I would've gotten a clue when we never ended up pg. But I had no worries..b/c we weren't really ttc.

We were so sure of ourselves that we decided for me to stay at home after graduation and get ready to be a mom. So I did. And we tried to get pg for the next year. We actually had one positive test..a digital one that had those glorious words...PREGNANT. Except we weren't. After a visit with the OBGYN we realized it was either a false positive or a chemical pregnancy. I was so bummed, but a bit more hopeful that maybe I could actually get pregnant.

Then my body started going nuts. I gained a bunch of weight..and one of my periods was super late. And I was getting pains near my ovaries. I requested an ultrasound to see what the heck was going on..and my dr. just brushed me off. It was then that I decided to switch obgyns. At my new dr. we endured a LAP...where I had both tubes unblocked. And the dr. NEVER saw my hundred million cysts on my ovaries during that surgery.CRAZY.

After a few months with lots of mucinex...opks, and pulling my hair out I went in to my dr. and begged for something more. So he referred me to my dr. that I have now. The first few seconds he did a vaginal ultrasound and diagnosed me with PCOS. It was so obvious!! He started me on Metformin and femara and I was sure this would do the trick. Over the next few months I lost a lot of weight and still was not pg. We then moved onto IUI. After two of pg. So we took a break. And I really needed the break. I ate what I wanted..drank what I wanted..and actually got to work out like I wanted.

During our break Todd and I decided that we would do IVF. So we started up that process in Jan of 09. Now after one failed IVF and a scheduled FET for Monday..I can not believe I am still on this journey. And somewhat sane..hehe

Throughout it all I have been blessed by God. He wraps me in His arms with all of your sweet posts and comments and He encourages me with your heartfelt words. He has blessed me with all of you! Such a great blessing..such a great gift. We have all traveled the same path and encountered the same heartaches. Through it all we lift each other up and pray for each other. We rejoice when one of us succeeds and it breaks our hearts when one of does not. We are sisters in this fight for our miracles. We fight each day..but thankfully we fight together! Love you all so much!


The Carter Family said...

Great post! I will be thinking and praying for y'all on Monday!! Sprinkling """baby dust""" your way!!

momof5girls said...

You are such a blessing and encouragement to me. In this world we see less and less of the faith that God wants us to have. It blesses my heart that knowing what you are enduring you are still trusting and praising God.
It will be exciting when you do conceive and deliver that one or two particular child/ren that God means only for you. Praying for you daily! Arlene

Michelle said...

Love you to my sister! I hope things go well for you on Monday! I will be praying for you!

Nichole said...

Absolutely a beautiful Post!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story. We have all been blessed by you as well my dear, your encouragement, kind words and prayers have helped so many of us get through those terrible BFN's. THANK YOU!

Becca said...

Thanks for sharing your story, Dana! You have been through a LOT. You're a strong woman, you know that? I hope and pray that this upcoming FET is YOUR turn for your precious miracle. I just found out we'll be doing our FET on Thursday (will post on that later), so we'll be cycle buddies! :)

I Believe in Miracles said...

Oh sweetie, what a great post. You are a beloved child of God. It's amazing how He continues to carry you through no matter what you endure.

I'm praying for you sweetie!! You know that. Let me know if you need anything.


wannabemommy said...

my faith is no where near as strong as yours and i look up to you for all its worth! i envy how much faith you have but for what its worth, every night before i go to sleep i pray for you, most times i find myself praying for you more than myself this road is long and hard but you have been at it longer than me i really and truly hope you get your happy ending/begining very soon

shauna said...

It's funny how we just take for granted the fact that having a baby is something that will happen to us when we're ready. Boy, how my point of view has been changed on that. I know the road is hard, and heartbreaking but you've been an encouragement to me in knowing I'm not the only one with these feelings. I'm excited and very hopeful for your ET on Monday. Prayin' this is the one!!!
Love ya girl!