Friday, April 3, 2009

Looking toward the Lord!!

Okay..I can safely check off meltdown on my to do list :D

The past few days were rough. Thank y'all for your encouragement and love. It really made me feel better!! After I wrote my post..I went into my living room with a purpose. To open my bible and hear God. Well, my stinkin bible was upstairs and I am trying to avoid going up and down the stairs alot right now. But then, I looked down and saw a book a friend gave me called Stream.s in the Des.ert I immediately jumped to April 2 and then was led to read April 1st instead. And it was God who was leading me. This is what that date said:

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him." (Job 13:15)
"Because I know whom I have believed." (2 Timothy 1:12)

I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails:
I will believe the Hand that never fails,
From seeing evil works to good for me.
And thought I weep b/c those sails are tattered,
Still I will cry, while my best hopes lie shattered:
"I trust in Thee"

I will not doubt, though all my prayers return
Unanswered from the still, white realm above:
I will believe it is an all-wise love.
that has refused these things for which I yearn:
And though times I cannot keep from grieving,
Yet the pure passion on my fixed believing
Undimmed will burn.

I will not doubt, though the sorrows fall like rain,
And troubles swarm like bees about a hive.
I will believe the heights for which I strive
Are only reached by anguish and by pain:
And though I groan and writhe beneath my crosses,
Yet I will see through my severest losses
the greater gain.

I will not doubt. Well anchored in this faith,
Like some staunch ship, my soul braves every gale:
So strong its courage that I will not fail
To face the mighty unknown sea of death.
Oh, may I cry, though body leaves the spirit.
"I do not doubt," so listening worlds may hear it,
with my last breath

An old seaman once said, " In fierce storms we must do one thing, for there is only one way to survive: we must put the ship in a certain position and keep her there." And this, dear Christian, is what you must do.
Sometimes like Paul you cannot see the sun or the starts to help you navigate when the storm is bearing down on you. This is when you can do only one thing, for there is only one way. Reason cannot help you, past experiences will shed no light, and even prayer will bring no consolation. Only one course remains: you must put your soul in one position and keep it there.
You must anchor yourself steadfastly upon the LORD. And then, come what may--whether wind, waves, rough seas, thunder, lightning, jagged rocks, or roaring breakers--you must lash yourself to the helm, firmly holding your confidence in God's faithfulness, His covenant promises, and His everlasting love in Christ Jesus.

After reading this.. I knew that all I had to do was focus on the Lord! Which is so easy!

Right now I am feeling better...emotionally and spiritually..and physically. I am not bloated anymore which leads me to believe that I don't have OHSS. Or if I do it is mild. So thanks for the prayers..I love you all!! We will be doing our beta on April 13. We were suppose to go on April 10, but Todd is getting his wisdom teeth taken out that I figured whats two more days..right? I know..a lifetime..hehe


littlesteps said...

Those entries seem so appropriate for what you're going through. God really does work in mysterious ways! I'm glad you're feeling better.

Michelle said...

I am glad that you are feeling better. I know it is hard but you are definitely doing the right thing by focusing on the Lord. I am praying for you!