Sunday, March 15, 2009

I need to carry an alarm clock around my head :D

I am trying not to freak out, but lately I haven't been on time with my shots. Which is driving me crazy. The first mishap was a couple of days ago..when I decided to get my shot ready at 2 p.m. b/c we were leaving to go to an antique market for the day. Then I decided to read the information packet that said to take the meds as soon as they are mixed!!! So I freaked and called my nurse. She was not at work so I called my old IUI nurse..I just LOVE her. She helped me out and calmed me down. All I could think was that I waisted medicine...EXPENSIVE medicine!!

Then the next night we had plans to go to this christian couples dinner. So I packed all of my medicine and all my gear and went to the event. Then around 6:15 I decided to go ahead and mix my meds and take my shot. I was so nervous sitting in that restroom mixing my shots. I was scared someone would come in and think I was crazy. I was so nervous that I ended up bending one of the needles of the shots that I have to mix into a vile with other meds. It is COMPLICATED!! The next day I started to worry that maybe I gave myself the shot too early.

Then TODAY..Todd and I are painting our guest bathroom and we are just a working...sanding and prepping the room. We finally finished prepping and decided to test out the paint on the wall...and then I saw the was 8:30. I freaked again..and started frantically mixing meds and getting ready to shoot up again :D I know I need to calm down and I have been telling myself that this is all in God's hands and nothing I do can change the outcome.

I know I am suppose to be trusting God's plan..but I have to share some of my fears I have been having. Well, you know how you always say..I know I will be pg summer...etc. Then when the event rolls around and you are not SUCKS!! So I hate doing that, but I realized I am. This summer we are going to the beach with T's family and I SOOOOO want to be pg by then. I want to go on vacation and not get depressed when I see all the families with their cute kiddos. I want to look down at my belly and see that BEAUTIFUL bulge :D And b/c of all of these meds I am losing my memory, I can't focus, and I can't get my words from my brain to my mouth. Did anyone else feel this way?? Or am I just crazy??? Yep, I am crazy :D hehe I go to the RE on Tuesday..can't wait to see if I get to move another step or not.


littlesteps said...

I've done the same thing! When I started the meds for this cycle, two nights in a row I looked up and realized I was past the time I was supposed to take them, and hadn't even thought about them until then! I was beginning to think I didn't think the IVF thing was that big a deal. Now that I'm taking 3 meds now, though, it for some reason has gotten easier.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Try setting a watch (or your cell phone) to help you with times for your shots. Some of mine were late, but mostly I was ok. The only one that REALLY matters (or at least that's what I was told) is the trigger with the exact time.