Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A woman on the PILL!!!

I am a woman on the PILL!!! And I can SO tell it. Man do I have some emotions right now. Today I realized that I have been being...you know...starts with a b..has itchy in it. There is just this new sauciness inside of me that is ready to come out. I can't wait to be done with these BCPs. I have been super emotional and then super enraged. I felt my blood pressure rise really high tonight over NOTHING!!

Today was going to be fun. Todd was off and we were going to enjoy doing something. And the day started off good. We both decided to get some bkfast in town and it was yummy. I was doing so good and so motivated to be productive today. Well, that went right out the window when we got home. I had a full stomach and I was wrapped up in a cozy blanket on our comfy couch....so I fell asleep. Just a little nap, right? Only if you wake up on the right side of the couch. And apparently I did not!! I woke up and was the opposite of motivated. I was just BLAH!!!

Then we discussed what to do...FOREVER. We couldn't figure out what we really wanted to do b/c we both were so blah. We thought of going to the movies..maybe window shopping..who knows. It is that kinda boredom when you realize that sometimes idle time is not so good. And then you wish you were parents and didn't have any idle time. Thinking that made me sad...of course...stupid hormones.

Which led to worrying that our IVF wasn't going to work. And worrying what I would do if it didn't. Then worrying that maybe the IVF not working was this way that God's was showing me to trust him. I was ALL thoughts....ALL worry..and ALL emotions. It seems like everything I see or read is a sign. A sign of whether or not IVF will work. It is like I am constantly picking the pedals off of a flower....it will work..it won't work..it will work...it won't work...AHHHHHHH!!!

Okay raise your hand if you will be happy when I am off BCPs????? Me too. Sorry for the craziness..I am on drugs you know..hehe

2 comments:

Nichole said...

:-) Hang in there sweetie - at least you can blame it on the pills - I am like that sometimes when I am NOT on drugs!
Seriously though - I was the same way on Clo.mid. I HATE that stuff! But of course I will take it if it means that I can hold our baby in our arms.
Good luck to you and IVF!

Nichole said...

:-) Hang in there sweetie - at least you can blame it on the pills - I am like that sometimes when I am NOT on drugs!
Seriously though - I was the same way on Clo.mid. I HATE that stuff! But of course I will take it if it means that I can hold our baby in our arms.
Good luck to you and IVF!