Thursday, October 23, 2008

Disciple

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me" Luke 9:23

This is the verse we had to memorize last week. DH and I have started a new class on Wed. nights....on how to be a disciple for Jesus. This verse is why I am not completely drowning in sorrow. IUI #2 didn't work. Af showed a few days ago and I am pretty bummed. Each point we get to is just further and further from what we had planned. I am beginning to learn that God's path is not necessarily the path I want. I was doing okay and then I got on myspace and saw some old classmates that just had their babies or were expecting. And now I am just down. I am wishing I could be in their shoes. I know that this is my path and there are reasons for the bumps, but for now I just wish it was easy and simple. My 10 year reunion is coming up next year and I can't help but feel behind everyone.

Today has been the worst. DH works 14 hours today and I am just stuck at home dwelling on all kinds of things. In our class, we are suppose to put Christ first and not ourselves. Which is something I struggle with, because I tend to put my desire to be a mom above all things. SO I have planned to work on that...A LOT!!! Sorry I have been MIA....I am hoping my internet is fixed for good. Oddly enough I don't have anymore words....I am just too sad. But I am going to put Christ first and go and have quiet time with Him!!

1 comment:

Nichole said...

I hear exactly what you are saying! My 10 year reunion is coming up too and if I am not pg or have a baby by then...I am not going. I know it is selfish and probably a little silly, but I have to do what I have to do.

Hang in there and enjoy your time with Him.