Saturday, August 23, 2008

Rantings of an insane hungry woman

Okay how many times to I have to promise myself to eat right??? I am sooo bad!! But in my defense...lateley...it has just been so hard to eat right. All I want is the bad stuff....pizza, chinese, baked potatoes, chips, pop tarts. I want it all. Plus when I think about eating I am a bit nauseous so the bad stuff always sounds better. I have been nauseous for years now...I am beginning to think that when I finally am not nauseous maybe I am pg. I think right now it is my metformin, but before I am not sure what it was. I just tend to always have a bit of nauseousness with me all the time. I have gotten somewhat used to it. Unless it is bad and I feel like I have to throw up.

I have realized that the reason I may have not been feeling so well lately is because of my eating habits. DH has tried to be so good, but I talk him over to the dark side every time. I talked him into going to Chinese the other day. Then of course, after I was stuffed, I felt guilty. It is like I am a mad woman when I am hungry. Like a monster....NEED FOOD NOW....FEED ME....HAVE TO EAT JUNK FOOD!!! What is up with that. I was doing so well before. You could put a plate of my favorite foods and I might piddle at a few and be full. Maybe the dr. needs to up my met.formin. I am getting tooo used to this dose... I am just kidding. I definitely don't want that. I mean of course who doesn't want to have to go to the bathroom for number 2 (and you know that can't be normal what comes out) all the time and feel sick. That sounds like a blast.

So I have been taking it easy lately. Since the IUI. I am praying that it worked. Some days I feel like it did and some days I feel like it didn't. For some reason I think that I should be able to literally feel if it worked or not. Which I know is impossible, but in my mind all the same. Now I have like maybe 9 days before I can POAS. Which I totally dread doing. I am a POASaphobic. I hate just seeing one stupid line every time. I guess you can tell today my mood isn't so great. I am a bit down in the dumps and without much needed hope. I pray that I will wake up tomorrow with a different attitude. I need to go and eat some breakfast and the poptarts that DH made before he left for work are still permeating throughout the house. So I need to eat my fiber one cereal. Must eat that...not oh so yummy poptarts. I hope I can resist. :D

2 comments:

I Believe in Miracles said...

Chocolate slim fast have been helping me feel like I'm eating healthy, but sweet. That's been good. Course I slipped up the other day and had 5.5 brownies. Not my proudest moment. :o)

allyouwhohope said...

I can relate! When my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS and insulin resistance and had me start a strict low GI diet, he asked my husband if I get really witchy when I have to eat and if I express that I need food immediately. Of course, my husband's answer was yes, and I could admit that too. The dr said that was a sign of insulin resistance. Since starting my diet, the immediate need to eat everything in sight has gone away. I also have no side effects at all from the met due to my diet. It can be hard, but if you stick with it, your tastebuds change, you don't crave bad things anymore and you become totally transformed. It can take a couple weeks to get to that point though.