Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Ramblings of a scared dork!!

I am scared of tomorrow and my appt. with the RE. They called today to let me know my medicine will be here tomorrow too. I have no idea what to expect. Well a little of what to expect. I want to put on a brave face and be strong, but I am such a baby at going to the dr. by myself. Especially with something this big. BUT DH is working and I didn't want to stress my mom out. She kinda freaks over things and I just told her it would be okay and it was no big deal. I hate making her worry. But I didn't want to keep it from her either.

As I was just thinking about what to type next...I thought I am going to do this alone, and then I realized that God will be with me and so I won't be alone. I have never been too great at asking for help...kinda something I struggle with. God was with me last time when they told me my FSH was low...which means not such a good/high egg supply. Then the nurse told me not to look up stuff on the internet and just call her with questions instead. I am rambling....cause I am nervous about tomorrow. Okay I can do this...I am strong...just not emotionally strong..YES I am. I can be...I will be.

(HEAD IN HANDS)...I am such a dork. A scared dork. I mean come on they are just going to do a baseline ultrasound, go over the IUI process, teach me how to give myself shots, and I guess that is all. I can do that...I can do that.

Lord please be with me tomorrow during my long travel to the RE...and at the office give me the courage to speak up, and the smarts to understand everything I am suppose to do and emotional strength. I can only do this with You beside me. Thank you so much for never leaving me and for loving me so much. In Your precious name I pray, AMEN.


Heather said...

I become a moron when I go to the doctor by myself. I only half hear what they say for some reason and I have a ton of silly questions the moment I walk out of the door.

If you feel nervous/overwhelmed. Take at least a pad of paper with you and write everything down - even the stuff you think you will remember. If you are more nervous, take a video camera and video the nurse teaching you how to do the shots so you can watch it later. They may laugh, but at least you will know what you are doing when it comes time.

Heather said...

Also, this web site:

A GREAT place to see videos of infertile women shooting up their drugs.

I Believe in Miracles said...

This post could totally be me right now (except the whole going to the RE, but the whole scared part).

I hope your apt went well today!! I always go to the RE by myself. My friend was there before me once, so we got a chance to sit in the waiting room together, but I went in alone.

Although in retrospect - you are never alone. God is always with you.

SAHW said...

You're not a dork! I only went to the RE once by myself, that was the day of my baseline u/s. I made DH go with me every other time...I found it nice to have his support. And I also thought going to the clinic the first few times was a big step - it's a step of great hope, but it's also the divide - the time when you realize hey, this isn't working out by itself...so don't feel silly for feeling scared or nervous. :)
I hope the appointment went well. Update us soon.